Yes, Mommy Have A Boyfriend Now

His hair is getting longer. The curls are coming out and as much as I adore his curls, he would need a trim soon. I run my fingers through his thick hair. His long skinny arms wrapped around me. Inhaling his scents, boyish mixed with a faint smell of shampoo.

Somewhere between the darkness of our room two nights ago, he whispered ever so softly. “Tell me your secret, Mommy.” He moved in closer. I can feel his breathing on my collar bone and I love how he still let me hug him this close.

I am so proud of you…” I kissed his forehead gently “I am so proud of your Daddy…” I stopped and let gratitude washes over me before I continue “And I am so proud of Oom Dan.

He lifts his head to look at me and even in the darkness, I can feel his needs for validations for assurance.

Do you know why I am so proud of your Daddy?

Why, Mommy?

Because Daddy is happy now with Tante*, Daddy has a family. They have your cute little brother, Shiloh remember?

As if to soak my words in, my dear dear boy went quiet until he broke into laughter saying “Shiloh is so heavy Mommy!” and we laughed together.

Mommy, is Oom* Dan your boyfriend?

“Yes, he is and I love him so much. He loves you too.” I squeezed his long body a little tighter as if by doing so I could assure him that everything will be alright.

“Are you going to marry him? Is he moving to Indonesia?”

I let go of my embrace and ask him “You like him too, don’t you? He can help you with Math homework if he moves here, you know Mommy is not very good at math!” To hear his happy cheerful laugh was music to my ears and soul.

I like him and I think you will marry him!

Tears filled my eyes and I hope my sensitive boy didn’t see them but my heart feels like they are bursting with so much love, so much joy, so much happiness.

Earlier that day, I was on Skype with Dan after I got back from the gym. Alex came and snuggled close to me and casually took the left earphone I had on so he could listen to Dan. They talked as I sipped my post-workout smoothie.
My parents just finished lunch and left my brother, Danny on the dining table when Alex grabbed my phone and walked around showing Dan everyone.

That’s my Oma…” he walked up to my mother who just smiled then he proceed to the kitchen where my father, bless his heart was doing dishes “That’s my Opa”.

He later walked up to my brother Danny, “That’s Oom Danny”.

Cute moment, yes. Innocent gesture, yes but both Dan and I see it from a different point of view and our heart melts for my sweet boy was proudly ‘introducing’ Dan to his family. And that alone is precious.

After that cute moment and after handing me back the phone he whispered “Mommy, let’s pretend I will tell Oom Dan, my Daddy is upstairs.

Puzzled…I was confused. What? Why?

Luckily Dan came to my rescue, he said my boy is probably confused and it is best if I talk to him later.

Yes, of course. This whole concept of Mommy having a boyfriend is new to him as I have never introduced anyone to him before. He never sees me with anyone other than his father. Even after I had explained what divorce is to him, this new phase is still very new and yes, maybe he is still trying to wrap his mind around it too. It’s always been him and his Mommy so learning to share is something

And that’s what I did last night. Assured him that he is so loved by everyone. I want him to know that his parents love him, that I am happy for his father’s new life and that Mommy is having someone in her life too now. It is also a reminder for me to be patient with him and to continue trying to explain things so he can understand life.

They had spent times interacting online together, Dan and my boy but it will be very interesting to see them do this in real life. While I trusted Dan wholeheartedly and I knew he’s really good with children it will be a whole new learning process for the three of us.

One that I am eager to experience.

If you’re a single mom, how do you introduce your little one to your new partner?

PS: *Tante = Aunty

*Oom = Uncle



    • November 12, 2013 / 9:25 am

      Thank you so much, Ria 🙂

  1. November 8, 2013 / 10:57 am

    Oh, Maureen, he is such a lovely and sweet boy…and you are just the greatest mom. The way you took the time to let him know that everyone loves him and that you are happy for his dad and dad’s new family…it’s just beautiful. You just get it all right. I know it can’t always be easy, but you always put what is best for your sweet boy as your first priority. You are a marvel. No matter what, I know your son with thrive with a mom like you by his side. 🙂 –Lisa

    • November 12, 2013 / 9:29 am

      Thank you so much Lisa your encouraging words is just what I needed to read again today.
      It’s still so hard sometimes because he’s been asking so many questions lately and I am trying hard to be patience until he can fully understand the concept of divorce.

  2. November 8, 2013 / 4:32 pm

    Hahaha mbak Mooo he’s soooo cute!!

    • November 15, 2013 / 1:17 pm

      He really is. Thank you, Rina please call me Maureen aja 😉

  3. November 9, 2013 / 1:12 am

    Such a sweet, thoughtful boy you have! You are so open and patient with him – he will understand the new dynamic soon enough.

  4. November 9, 2013 / 9:15 am

    You are so wonderful to be so gentle with introducing your boyfriend to your son. I wish I had done things so perfectly with my children. Luckily, my husband and I have been together 14 years (15 years with the year we dated) so all is good. However, i think it would have been better if I had introduced them slower like you are.

    • November 15, 2013 / 1:27 pm

      Thank you so much Carla, it’s a delicate matters really as he is now older and asking more questions. His little mind still trying to understand it all. How old was your children back then? Thank you for sharing your experience.

  5. November 12, 2013 / 10:38 pm

    I’m so glad you have two wonderful men in your life. I remember similar conversations with my daughter (many years ago!) when it was just the two of us. What a special time in your life.

    • November 15, 2013 / 1:29 pm

      Thank you so much, Poppy and thank you for sharing your own experience.

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