Want My Mojo Back

This is week 3 at Kludgy Mom’s Back To School Back To Blogging – in my defense I jumped in the wagon at week 2.

Kludgy Mom

With how things are in my life, I am forced to rearranged pretty much everything. From my struggle to find a job down to this blog. Yes, like it or not this blog will have to change as well.

It all started as a blog about a mix-marriage couple living back in Jakarta…

Now it would be all about Lil’ A and me and this new path of single motherhood and all its glory.

When I first opened up about going through a divorce here, it was one of the hardest thing I had to published here. I wrote, edited, edited, edited, wrote some more, I cried, I triple questions my decision.

Taking that 3 weeks break from blogging, I had abandoned this blog and my ranks plummeted, my bounce rate went up but at the time I didn’t really care. Now that I am back, I realized I need to pour my heart and soul back to this baby again. Getting myself back into that rhythm again of blogging, networking, commenting will takes some times.

Honestly, I feel like I had lost my mojo in blogging after taking that break.

As much as writing & blogging has been therapeutic to me, I still find myself not investing as much time as I used to. Maybe it’s psychological, I’m not sure – I have stop seeing my counselor months ago. Realizing I had fell off the wagon of happy-family-blogger may also got something to do with it. Been mulling about this as to why I don’t have the energy to do all the networking I need.

Prior to ‘coming out’, this blog has been my baby…my distractions from the pain…it made the days goes by quicker than if I just sit at my parents house doing close to nothing. The hope to fix my marriage was still there.

Now that it is obvious that’s not going to happen I know my blog needs a whole new directions. Yes, I would still blog about being a mother to a toddler who will soon starts school, about living in Jakarta which now will be permanently, about any future travels. Yet realizing that I had fell into that single mom bloggers will take sometimes to sink in.

There is nothing wrong with single mom bloggers…actually, I need to start finding more of them and networking. They’ve been in my shoes before so their wisdom might help me through.

My focus for Tatter Scoops Scoops of Joy had changed.

AutumnCreative Commons License photo credit:Simon Peckham

For now, I write about the pain, the grieving, the letting go, the sadness to help me cope with it. Your comments has been giving me strength and for that alone I will be forever thankful. Long term wisely, I hope this blog will help other women especially Indonesians who is in the same situation.

Just so you know, although in big cities like Jakarta where divorce rates has been on the spike, most Indonesians still have this negative stigma about it. Whether they admit it or not. There will always be judgment. There’s negative image to carry the tittle as ‘divorcee’. There will be gossips and talks about how ‘she failed to keep her husband’ or ‘why did she give up so easily?’ that kinds of talks. Maybe that’s why I haven’t find that many – if there is any – Indonesian single mom blogs so I guess that niche would fit me perfectly now.

I’m sure there will be highs and lows throughout this journey and I will be using this blog to share it with the world then maybe someday I could read back and see how much I have grow as a person, as a woman, as a mother.

Have you ever feel like you has lost your mojo? Any ideas on how to get them back?




Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

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  1. October 4, 2010 / 9:16 am

    Maureen, big hugs to you. I wish I could take you out for coffee and spend an entire afternoon talking about your wonderful blogs, how much we’ve missed you, and how much we want to support you through this rough patch.

    I would not say life gets in the way, I’d say life has its own way.

    Your mojo will be back, in the mean time blogging can keep you afloat.

    It’s got to be so hard because at the same time there are many things you won’t/can’t reveal. We cannot ask more of you now that you are back. You don’t need to explain to us, because we know you.
    Your pain is a bit ours too. We will grieve your loss with you the best we can! OK maybe I stop with the “we” thing, I am not sure about others, though I have my intuitions on your awesome readership…
    But if it was just me then?
    I want you to know, I’m here. I want you to know, it’s not easy married or single, there are always rough moments.
    I’m sorry this man hurt you and ruined your dream of a happy family for yourself and Lil’A. You have the most beautiful son and life does not end here. Neither does your blog.
    There are more adventures to blog about. I want to read those. And for anyone who is experiencing the same hardship, reading the grievance of your marriage will be so important. And for you, writing about moving on will help you do just that.
    I am no counselor but any time you want to chat, you will know where to find me.

    Fingers crossed for the jobs of our lives. This is going to be a great week.

    Take it one day at a time, and do what is right for you. Some days you may not want to write and that’s OK. You have the right to remain silent if you feel like it 🙂

    I am so glad you are back, let’s get your mojo now!
    Maryline recently posted..11 Reasons Why Running is Like SexMy Profile

  2. October 4, 2010 / 9:53 am

    Maureen, I had to leave your blog for a little while just to gather my thoughts in order to respond to this post from the heart. I also went through a divorce 12 years ago. It was a different situation from yours in that we did not have any children together. I’m sure that not having those ties to one another definitely helped the healing process. There were so many feelings that I remember going through, at that time. You see, I have always believed in marriage and I thought that I would be married to him for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, life sometimes has other plans for us and this was not to be. Going through that experience rocked my belief in marriage to the very core and I never thought that I would be open to it again. Luckily, my current husband was very persistent and he allowed me the time that I needed to heal and be able to move forward. I am so sorry that you have to go through this and my heart bleeds for you. However, I am here to tell you that there is life after divorce and I am living proof of this. I have been married to my current husband going on 11 years and I have a wonderful marriage. Please let me know if you ever need to talk or vent. After all, that is what sisters are for…

  3. October 4, 2010 / 9:59 am

    You can do this, and maybe you’ll be inspiration for some other lonely Indonesian divorced people who need to hear that they didn’t do anything wrong by taking care of themselves. Love and hugs all the way from California!
    Serene recently posted..Weekend Cooking- Blueberry BlintzesMy Profile

  4. October 4, 2010 / 10:19 am

    I’m so sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine. Before I was married, I never understood how people could get divorced. I thought they were just giving up, and making a huge mistake. But life is not so black and white. Marriage has more shades of grey than anything. You did what needed be done. Though I can’t imagine how difficult it must be, I hope in time you are able to move on and rediscover the joys of life that you are missing right now. Best wishes, Jennifer
    NotJustAnotherJennifer recently posted..Up All NightMy Profile

  5. October 4, 2010 / 11:23 am

    I’m so sorry Maureen. I had no idea. I’ve missed hearing from you but now ofcourse, I understand. You seem like a strong, loving, and devoted Mother. I have no doubt you and your little guy will do just fine…still I’m sure this must be a huge life change for you both. Thinking of you and wishing you the best. Keep writing and blogging for you…the rest will fall into place 🙂
    Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom) recently posted..A Sign of the TimesScreaming Children Will Not be Tolerated!My Profile

  6. October 4, 2010 / 12:24 pm

    Hey you! You’ve got so much support here and you’ve been missed. Blogs develop and change as our lives do, just write about how you’re feeling and what’s going on and the blog will take it’s own direction. You’re among friends hun x
    Pumpkin and Piglet recently posted..House to homeMy Profile

  7. October 4, 2010 / 1:10 pm

    One step at a time. That’s all you can do. I’m glad you’re back to blogging. Although I realize your topics will be different, it was more the connection with you and your life that really drew me to your blog. I wish you the best as you tackle this new journey. Hopefully you will be able to reach more single moms with your blog especially those Indonesian women who feel ashamed.
    MamaOnDaGo recently posted..Childhood Memories- SaturdaysMy Profile

  8. October 4, 2010 / 8:16 pm

    Wow – these comments are a testament to you and your blogging! I am so sorry for the emotions and situation you face. Life presents an amazing array of challenges. A wonderful support system can provide immeasurable hope. You clearly have that!

    Thanks for visiting my blog. I’m following you now and will be here as you continue your journey!

  9. October 4, 2010 / 8:23 pm

    I think the best thing about a blog is that the focus can change right along with your life. It’s constantly evolving and if you just write what’s on your heart, you’ll soon find that mojo!
    Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds recently posted..The hearing playMy Profile

  10. October 4, 2010 / 8:23 pm

    I lost my mojo at the beginning of Sept. But I think breaks serve a purpose: they allow us to regroup and process, and come back stronger than before. Welcome back!
    Unplanned Cooking recently posted..How to Find The Perfect Fitting BraMy Profile

  11. October 4, 2010 / 8:41 pm

    Don’t worry, take your time.
    It doesn’t matter why you have a break – it takes time to get back on track, get your audience active again…
    I’ve noticed how people stop commenting if I don’t leave comments to them. I’m traveling now and my days are busy. I don’t have that much time as at home.
    In a way it makes me feel sad.
    How loyal my audience really is? Why don’t they say hi! even if they don’t have nothing to say to the actual post? Why don’t they ask when are you coming to visit my blog if they miss me?
    Is blogging just a big bubble of illusion?
    You have your audience when you’re active but are forgotten if for some reason you have a break or holiday…that’s how I feel…

    It’s been sunny and beautiful here in Helsinki – greetings!
    BLOGitse recently posted..SUMO digital fun challenge 2My Profile

  12. Julinda
    October 4, 2010 / 9:24 pm

    My sincere sympathy for you Maureen. I am sure you will find your happiness again; time and faith heal the broken hearts (sounds cliché but true). I lost my mojo in the past. Since I am not a good writer at all, my medium to get my mojo back was with painting, designing and hand crafting jewelry or anything I could design under the sun in my “alone” time. You are a very talented writer, but when you feel like you don’t want to write a word sometimes that would be okay or just drop a line or two and we would understand and try to read between those lines. Or, you could express your feelings and thoughts at the moment on a flash card (hand writing), and bundle it later, who knows you could publish it down the road and help other women (especially Indonesians there) who are going thru the similar path to heal by reading it. But most of all: “In the noisy confusion of your life, keep peace in your soul”.

  13. October 4, 2010 / 10:03 pm

    Oh, Maureen. I wish we were neighbors so I could come and visit and talk. I understand what you are going through, I really do (I just haven’t share my experience on my blog). It will get better with time, I promise. Just make sure you keep communicating your grief and understand the grief process. Once you realize that all of your feelings are normal and a part of the entire loss process, that will even help make you feel better. Hang in there, my friend!
    Natalie recently posted..Pulling A The David Cook For Charity- The Fistula FoundationMy Profile

  14. October 4, 2010 / 10:48 pm

    Maureen, my heart goes out to you. Although I can’t say that I have experienced a divorce, I have definitely lost my mojo. I originally started blogging a year ago about real estate, I was trying a niche blog. I even wanted to write a book about it. But then I got so frustrated with all the negativity that I didn’t want to write any longer. Then I received the news of my second pregnancy, and 1st and 3rd trimesters are hard for me due to a medical condition. But I finally bounced back a couple of months after the baby was born, and I’m better. I also wish for you to be better. I’ve sent up a prayer for you.
    L. Eleana recently posted..“Chefs Do That” Wife- Mom- Government AssassinMy Profile

  15. October 5, 2010 / 2:34 am

    Hey Maureen!

    From the way you write, I can see that blogging, writing, commenting, etc will be helpful to get thru these hard times —

    You share so much, and I only know that real people will value your honesty, and share your sorrow.

    Your sorrow will not be forever. Keep writing. Keep making new friends. You’ll be ok!

  16. October 5, 2010 / 7:13 am

    Keep writing! I’m still here!

    And I don’t have a good excuse to not be networking right now, I’m just not doing it. I need my mojo back too.

  17. October 5, 2010 / 9:51 am

    I think at some point everyone loses steam a bit and of course what your are going through does not help. Like you I have stepped away until I felt refreshed. I think that is the best thing to do. Take care of yourself and your son and follow your heart. Blog when you want to and take breaks when you need to. We are here and not going anywhere.

  18. October 5, 2010 / 11:17 pm

    I am also recently divorced from a very nasty man, and it has been not only hard on me, but that of my 4 yr old daughter. Somethings you can just never be prepared for. But you keep plugging on. I am rediscovering the me that once was, and feel like I have been given a second chance to lead the life I was meant to. Enjoy your search for the Authentic You, and its ok it you have down days. Above all else, be gentle with yourself.

  19. October 7, 2010 / 2:56 am

    Oyen, you’re one strong woman. You have support groups virtually and physically. Lil’ A needs you as you to him. Keep on writing, it makes the pain go away a bit easier 🙂
    Diny recently posted..Cursing CursiveMy Profile

  20. Maria
    October 14, 2010 / 7:44 am

    Very sorry to hear about your divorce Maureen. And yes, some people can be so judgmental about this, but hey, the one who love you will stand by you, right?

    I don’t know how to find one’s mojo back, plus I’m not sure if you’ve lost yours. This blog will evolve as you evolve, and to me that’s what keep it interesting. Take a good care of your heart Maureen, and many hugs from here.

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