Monday was another crazy day.
Million things to do at work…things to do for my family…
Pressures made me feels like I was being pulled in different directions at once.
I feel suffocated.
The stress, the pressures, I walked around with a lump in my throat again.
“Mommy!!!” he threw his arms around me and gave me a kiss when I got home and although that helps taking my mind off of things that weighing me down, my heart is still heavy.
I sat down…
“Can you please give Mommy a few minutes, Pumpkin? I’m exhausted.”
He stood there right in front of me. Waiting for his mother to be mommy again.
“Have you eat?” I asked him with a smile on my face. My boy is growing up way too fast.
“No, I want chocolate bread, Mommy.” He gave me that look I can’t resist. My poor boy has been sick for the last few days and lost his appetite.
Turned out we don’t have any bread left, I asked him if he would like to walk with me to the store.
His whole face lit up and he jumped up and down saying “Yes, Mommy let’s go!” And he showered me with hugs and kisses. How can I not go?
So we walked to the nearby store. We hold hands, we talked.
He laughed…he asked me questions when he saw the little bats flying around.
He jumped over some puddles happily.
My heart felt a little lighter feeling that little hand holding mine, listening to his little chatters.
On our way back it got dark.
Then my brain started wondering off, remembering he still need to take a shower, he still need to have dinner, I still need to make sure my father’s visa applications are assembled correctly. Just thinking about it got me exhausted.
Not realizing it, I walked faster.
“Walk slower, Mommy…”
That felt like a strong pull that halt me.
“I’m sorry if I walk too fast, Pumpkin.” I smiled at him.
“I like walking with you, Mommy.” His face beams. “I love it when we walk slower.”
How bout that for some smack of reality? Coming from my 6 year old little teacher!
In that short walk he taught me to stay in the moment, to soak it all, to stop worrying about what tomorrow will bring, to enjoy looking up at the clouds and seeing the sky got darker.
Just to be there…to enjoy our alone time, to just be with him in the present. For all I know one day he will be too big to walk hand in hand with his Mommy. So last night, I decided to let go of my worries, to just stay with my boy and enjoy every minute we are blessed to spend together with.
Thank you my little man…thank you for your precious lesson.