Thank You 2018

2018 has just come to an end.

And I’ve been thinking, examining, looking back deeply into the previous year and what a journey it has been. Both for me personally and for the community, I started 4 years ago Single Moms Indonesia.

Thank You 2018

On a personal level, 2018 was rough but also the year that propelled me to finally faced a lot of my false beliefs, my old demons, that led me to stand tall and take full control instead of feeling like I’m not good enough. The Universe brought me occasions and people that really pushed me to step into my authentic self. It’s not easy!

And in 2018 I faced them head-on…I was given opportunities to stand tall and draw the lines whenever they needed to be drawn to. I’m still getting used to it to be brutally honest. This girl who used to be timid, who used to just suck it up and ended up silently brewing from resentments when others crossed their boundaries has finally got fully awakened in 2018.

Life handed me a stick and brutally said “Here you go! You draw the line…”

And drawing the line I went.

How does it feel?

Hella good! I tell ya! Knowing that the world didn’t collapse after I clearly and lovingly draw the lines, setting my boundaries was such a relief. Knowing that I no longer need to feel guilty for standing my grounds took a ton of weights off of my shoulder.

That imposter syndrome is real, yo!

One of the biggest lesson of 2018 is how to deal with that Imposter Syndrome I’ve been covering myself up with for the past few years.

It took a company as big as Facebook to opened my eyes.

“People who create community online don’t usually think of themselves as leaders. However, at Facebook we know that the dedication, vision and passion Admins bring to their work are true leadership qualities. Therefore, we recognize you as leaders-even if you don’t see yourself that way!”

Facebook Community Leadership Program Team

The line above came from the acceptance email Facebook sent me and it spoke right to my core. Of course, I started bawling my eyes out after I read that. Why? Because Oh My God! That’s exactly how I feel. I never seen myself as leader before. Our community purely were born out of my own wishes to have a safe space for us single mothers to come together and support each other.

Accidental Leader. That’s how it felt before. I never seek to be the face of our community; never did I dream that I would be on TV talking with the Women Empowerment Minister or any other TV stations for that matter.

That’s why every time someone handed me a microphone I would freeze. My stomach would turn into a big “What the heck am I doing?” knot that gave me cold sweats. For 4 years I happily run the group from behind the scene. Being in the spotlight was something I’m not used to or comfortable with but with the rate that we are growing, I have to put myself out there.

That’s why the Universe sent me people who love to be in the spotlight but said the wrong things that took away our core key messages and it drove me nuts. That’s why the Universe send me people who nudged me to draw the boundaries.

Knowing that it’s more than OK to step into the spotlight to share our community’s stories because I am the founder after all is such a huge epiphany moment for me. I know the history of our community like the back of my hand because I nurtured it with the help of those who truly care.

Facing that Imposter Syndrome hasn’t been easy. Some days I feel like I got it, that I’m in the groove of things. Some days, I doubt my ability to take our community to the next level. And this is when I recognize how there’s no such thing as coincidence because whenever doubts start to crept back in, I had people that reminded me of my abilities and my passions. They shone lights back into my life and clear my conscience whenever I started to worry. To these earth’s Angels, I owe my gratitude.

2018 has taught me so many valuable lessons indeed.

Lessons in letting go of people, places and dreams that no longer serves my highest goods.

Lessons in drawing the lines whenever they are necessary to be drawn to.

Lessons in surrounding myself with the right tribe who strives for success as a community instead of individuals

Lessons in being vulnerable and sharing honestly to the members of our community

Lessons in daring to dream big, bigger than I ever thought possible

Lessons in facing the world with my head held up high

Lessons in owning my own power and step into that box of greatness

Lessons in being fearless and lead with passions, kindness and grace

Lessons in growing confidently into the role that I was meant to be

So, thank you 2018.

Thank you to those who support me always. Near and far. Your love and faith in me keeps me going even when the going gets tough at times.

Thank you to those who exited my life, for you make rooms for those that were meant to stay in the long run.

Thank you.

2019, I am READY for you.


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