Only Times…

Golden times -you & me- fading into memory ...Creative Commons License photo credit: jinterwas

Teach me to be strong…

A dear friend of mine asked me that a couple of days ago and my heart sank. She’s in a situation that I wish would never happen to any other women. No one should ever feel these kinds of pains! No one deserves the pain infidelity caused!

I’m outraged…I cried for her.

Times will make you strong…and your children will push you to be strong.” That’s all I could type with my shaky fingers, replying to her message.

Times will help heals the wounds even when I doubt it would completely heals mine and I’m starting to feel that I am healing inside. The pain, the throbbing numbness is still there, I can still feel it pulsating from time to time but on most days I didn’t even think about it anymore. Does that mean I’m strong? Maybe a little stronger than 9 months ago…

Acceptance play a huge part and praying gets me through some of the darkest and toughest days but it sure doesn’t come easily.

Grieving is important…so I told my friend to cry as much as she wanted to. Told her if she wants to scratch the wall then do so. The anger and the grieve are still too raw and she must let it take its course. Fighting them will only slow down the healing process.

Being mothers, it is not easy to deal with grieves and angers because we wanted to protect our children. We don’t want them to see us breaking down when all we wanted to do is curled up and die. If possible, a day or two away from home would probably be a good idea.

Family and trusted friends plays huge role as well. Their supports will give us the strength we need to move on. To take that step…one day at a time to move forward. Just like a baby, we might have to re-learn to walk…alone with our children clinging to us for guidance. Support systems will raise us up tremendously in these darkest times. Their true love will guide us through even when we feel like the world had fell on our heads.

Yes, I’m in a much better place today than I was 9 months ago but I still feel that twinge of pain resurfacing. Even more so lately during this holiday seasons.

Seeing Christmas images of happy family…holidays are meant to share with family right? I may be surrounded with my immediate families but knowing that my own little family had been shattered hurts. Tears fell silently as I watched my boy sleep so peacefully on Christmas Eve knowing how much he misses his Daddy still.

But I am moving forward! It will not take me far if I keep walking backwards. Life had thrown me off of my balance and altered everything I had known. My faith in marriage might be forever changes but it will not stop me from living.

So my dearest friend…just hang in there. As hard as it is to believe, there will be a silver lining in your horizon when the time is right. Held your head up high and walk on…Remember you are loved, by your children, by your parents, your family and your friends!

I love you dear friend!



  1. December 26, 2010 / 3:55 pm

    Maureen, the old saying is true, “Time does heal all wounds.” We never forget what happened but we somehow find the strength to keep moving forward. I am so proud at how far you have come in these last five months. I know it has not been easy for you but you have done what you had to do to maintain a positive and loving environment for your son. Also, you have ventured back out into the workplace in order to continue to progress for the both of you. It is never easy when a friend is going through a hard time and we are sometimes at a loss as to how we can best help them. I think you are doing a great job of being a caring and supportive friend.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:22 pm

      Maria, I really can’t thank you enough for all your supports and kind words to me. It has been a ride and it’s not even completely over yet but I’m so ready to move forward with my life and my son’s life. I really hope that my friend can heal too, it’s not easy but it is possible. Thanks again, Maria!

  2. December 26, 2010 / 3:58 pm

    I ain’t good in words but what I can say that I’m sending you BIG hugs. Merry Christmas again to you and Alex.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:22 pm

      Mindy, thank you! Hugs!

  3. December 26, 2010 / 8:18 pm

    Maureen, now that you’ve been through the worst and have healed and have made a new life for yourself, you can be an inspiration to your friend that it will eventually get better.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:24 pm

      I can only be there for her whenever she needs me, Liz. She’s such an amazing woman so it hurts me to see her hurting. Thank you!

  4. December 27, 2010 / 1:37 am

    I don’t know if time HEALS wounds, but it definitely helps them scar over so it’s not quite as painful. There will always be twinges of pain, but nothing as unbearable as the original wound.

    Much love to you…and hugs to your friend.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:25 pm

      You’re right Katie, time might not heal it 100%…once something is cut, broke and sewn back together the scar will be there and it will take a long time for it to fade. Thank you so much, girl! I heart you!

  5. December 27, 2010 / 10:13 am

    I’m sorry for both your friend and for you….but Liz is right, you are an inspiration!

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:28 pm

      Awww thanks girl…if I can help it would worth the pain that’s all and I love my friend.

  6. December 28, 2010 / 7:57 am

    You are right to say that time heals wounds. Time, if we allow it, enables us to grow, see things more clearly, and forgive.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:29 pm

      I love that, Jessica…time enables us to grow and forgive which is something I’m still trying to deal with. Thank you, girl!

  7. December 28, 2010 / 11:50 am

    Maureen, your honesty and your strength have obviously been a source of support for your friend. I do believe that time will help to ease some of the pain for both of you. Healing is such an excruciatingly slow process, but it does sound as if you are making progress.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:31 pm

      I had received so much love and supports when I first fell into that dark pit and if helping her in knowing that all that she’s feelings are normal, real then it would like me paying back for all the people that helped me pull through. She’s a strong woman and I’m sure both of us will be just fine in the end. Thank you for your kind words and support! Hugs!

  8. December 28, 2010 / 10:28 pm

    Hi Maureen,

    I think you gave her great advice. Grieving is so important, and time allows us to heal. I pray that her marriage is saved.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:32 pm

      Eleana, thank you. I wish that her marriage can be saved too but I told her that I’ll always be there for her no matter what happen.

  9. December 28, 2010 / 11:03 pm

    I feel for your friend, and I hope she finds closure. Infidelity is so hard all around. I am glad that she has a friend like you to reach out to.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:40 pm

      Thank you, girl! I can write a mile long post about infidelity and the kind of pains it caused everyone.

  10. December 30, 2010 / 2:38 am


    I just found your blog this afternoon through Mama’s Little Nestwork. As I enter the New Year and think back on years past, I am inspired by your strength and courage. Not only are you courageously dealing with your own situation, but also being an amazing friend.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:42 pm

      Hi Katie,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m hoping the hell I had to go through can at least help others in same situations. I may not be able to offer solutions because every case is different but by being there for them and understanding what they have to go through will help just the way others has been so graciously kind to me.

      Happy New Year!

  11. December 30, 2010 / 9:09 am

    What wonderful advice you gave to your friend. I agree that time can definitely help the healing process and it’s not good to hold anything in.

    • December 31, 2010 / 3:43 pm

      Thank you Caity! Really appreciate your words. Happy New Year btw! 😀

  12. January 2, 2011 / 12:12 pm

    Very, very well said. Good for you! You ARE getting stronger. Being strong for your friend will help you through your pain too. Happy new year, lady! Bigger and better things will come for you, I feel it!

  13. February 12, 2011 / 12:31 am

    hello! I am a new blogger and have been looking at different woman’s blogs and i stumbled across this post, It was very touching and you sound like such a strong woman i just had to tell you! Your family will always be together because you sound like a great mom that your sons are lucky to have!

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