On Taking Chances

“I don’t know why I’m scared ’cause I’ve been here before
Every feeling, every word, I’ve imagined it all,
You’ll never know if you never try
To forgive your past and simply be mine”

Adele’s One And Only song speaks volume to me and pull on my heartstrings.

Why? Because I was scared. It felt like a déjà vu…yes I’ve been here before in this place albeit different settings, different casts…

Creative Commons License photo credit: TeryKats

So what a traumatize single mom to do? She shut down again. Build the wall higher and tried to push this person away when she saw the horror stories of her past battles didn’t scare him a bit. Instead, he stood there smiling and said he understands.

He took his time, he sat down and listened patiently…to every single story, every single pain…as she opened up that suitcase that had been dragging behind her for nearly two years. She sorted them out by retelling the why, the what, and the when. She unfolds everything even the things that little to no one knows about. He made her feel secure enough to do that. “Let it all out…then you can move on.” That’s all he would say when she can see him smiling as she apologized for the hundred times and wiped her tears.

It took weeks…

But he sticks around, he keeps knocking at her door with admirable persistence even when she blocked him out and tell him to leave her alone. That she’s not ready, period! Yet he stays, he never leaves, never give up.

Then somehow, someway the walls just started crumbling down. He took her hand and showed her how nice it feels to be back out there.

Thank you for knocking these walls down…” she whispered.

You opened the door and let me in. I just help you knock it down a little bit but it was mostly you. You are taking chances…” His eyes are ever so softly embrace her.

On Taking Chances

It has been a long journey for her. Will be exactly two years in a few weeks but she’s relearning to trust again. Most importantly, she’s learning to trust herself. Believing in her judgments and put faith in them.

She’s taking baby steps and even when she still have doubts and fears coming back once in awhile, she had made up her mind.

Life has given her the freedom to move on and pursue a healthier relationship ahead and it’s been a gift. A gift that put her faith back in love and hope.

As she takes a look at herself now she can see healing from that past trauma…her inner self is healing and her once shred to pieces heart can actually feel something again. Those eyes offered her the chance to heal the final parts of her heart and allow her to trust again.

She thought she wasn’t ready and to let her guards down did make her feels vulnerable yet that presence of an understanding soul, a patience gentle tenderness cast her fears away. So she took the baby steps.

Her eyes are now opened and recognize that she needs to stop assuming love will fail and she must allow herself to take that risks.

Let it flow naturally…” she told herself and take that plunge.

She is giving love a second chance!

If you are divorced, how do you feel about being back in a relationship? When did you know you are ready to give love another chance?




Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.



    • February 24, 2012 / 9:51 pm

      Thank you for the kind words. It is exciting and I haven’t feel this way in years so yes it is pretty amazing 🙂

  1. February 22, 2012 / 8:57 pm

    I shed a tear of happiness when I read this, girl. I am so happy for you, so proud of you! You’re such a strong person. I wish you happiness, always. You so deserve that. *hugs*
    Ima recently posted..PROJECT 52 – # 7My Profile

    • February 24, 2012 / 9:52 pm

      Aww Teteh Ima, thank you so much! I am happy now and he does makes me happy 🙂

  2. February 22, 2012 / 9:05 pm

    I am not divorced, but I love and can relate to your honesty, your vulnerability, in this post. I am happy that you are willing to take chances, that in spite of your divorce, you are still living, still willing to open your heart to love again! I know that you will find a great guy and that he’ll love you for the wonderfully strong and smart woman that you are!
    Jessica recently posted..Facebook FriendsMy Profile

    • February 24, 2012 / 9:54 pm

      Jessica, your words brought me to tears! Thank you girl. I see this new chapter as a second chance at love, given to me at the right time after I can finally let go of my past and learn from it, albeit the hard way, but still the lessons were valuable.

  3. February 22, 2012 / 11:58 pm

    I am so happy for you to open the door, and to have found a good man who stood his ground. Learning to love and trust again isn’t easy, but your baby steps helped..Wish you all happiness.

    (Thanks for the like on Facebook, I must have done something wrong on mine page, and have no time to investigate yet. But I did hit Like on yours, and my photo won’t show up. I will try to fix it if God willing, and Like again.)
    Raw Thoughts and Feelings recently posted..Unconventional TheoryMy Profile

    • February 24, 2012 / 9:55 pm

      Thank you very much! Yes, for now it is still baby steps and we are taking it slow and I’m glad he understand it enough.

      Also thanks for trying to Like my Facebook page back 🙂

  4. Emmy
    February 23, 2012 / 12:27 am

    You are doing wonderful girlfriend and I am very happy for you .
    I look forward to THE DAY !!!!

    • February 24, 2012 / 9:56 pm

      You will be there to share the Day lol. Thanks so much my sweet sweet Emmy 🙂

    • February 24, 2012 / 9:56 pm

      Aww thanks Jenny 🙂

    • February 24, 2012 / 9:57 pm

      Adrienne, thank you so much. Yes, it’s actually feel nice to be able to trust again 🙂

  5. February 23, 2012 / 10:40 am

    If anybody deserves another chance at love, honey – that’s you. Sounds like you’ve found a brave soul.
    Nami recently posted..Bridge Over TroubleMy Profile

    • February 24, 2012 / 10:02 pm

      Aww Nami, you are such a sweetheart! Thank you! Yes, he does have a brave soul to taken a like of me and most importantly my boy 🙂

  6. February 23, 2012 / 2:29 pm

    Sweet second chances. Go Mau! 🙂

    • February 24, 2012 / 10:02 pm

      Thanks Ava 🙂

  7. February 23, 2012 / 7:33 pm

    What a beautifully written piece of second chances! Thank you for your honesty!
    Jenn recently posted..from two lines to oneMy Profile

    • February 24, 2012 / 10:08 pm

      Thank you Jenn, I didn’t know a second chance can be this good 🙂

  8. February 23, 2012 / 9:04 pm

    Ironic how the one person we give our heart to is the person that has the greatest power to break us into pieces. But it’s also beautiful how there are so many people out there who can give us the chance to love and be loved again. I saw your blog through Amberr’s tweet. Wishing you all the best on your new found love!

    • February 24, 2012 / 10:09 pm

      Hi Joshua, thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment.
      Yes, I was beyond broken when my first marriage ended and I never thought I could ever trust or let alone have any heart left to give to someone else. Thank you again 🙂

  9. February 24, 2012 / 6:34 am

    This was a great post. I’m glad you gave love another shot.

    • February 24, 2012 / 10:11 pm

      Thank you Amber 🙂 It wasn’t easy at first but I guess we will see how it goes…taking that first plunge was the hardest.

    • February 24, 2012 / 10:12 pm

      Awww Maria, you made me blush! Thank you for all your support throughout this times. I guess he is but for now I decided to keep his identity private. 😉

  10. February 24, 2012 / 11:03 am

    Beautiful Post. First – I love Adele.. her words have power. Congrats to you for jumping back in. I’m not divorced. But – I was devastated by the loss of a relationship. One where we were living together and planning our future. And then poof. Gone. Along came Ray (my husband.) I pushed him away more times than anyone should ever allow…. and he stayed. He’s still here. Stress of twins. Stress of special need child. Stress of life. Still here. I’m hoping for that for you too.. xo
    Kristen recently posted..When Online wasn’t coolMy Profile

    • February 24, 2012 / 10:15 pm

      Kristen, I’m with you on Adele…she’s just amazing!
      Oh I can relate to the pushing part because I did that too a whole lot at first until my eyes were opened that this guy is not going anywhere. Your love story is so inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing it. It really gives me hopes that I may have found the one that will stay. Maybe this one will be just like your Ray. Big congrats on your success at second chance in love. Very inspiring! Hugs!

  11. February 24, 2012 / 12:21 pm

    This is beautifully written! I wasn’t divorced, but widowed, and felt there was a long period of time when I just didn’t feel ready to give my heart to anyone. It made dating fun, because I wasn’t emotionally invested at all, but that becomes hollow after a while. I began to think it would never happen for me again, and then I met my husband. I just felt safe trusting my heart to him, and he was understanding enough to realize that I still had a healing process to complete.

    Thanks for sharing!

    • February 24, 2012 / 10:18 pm

      Christina, first of all thank you for opened up about your own story although the case was different but it gives out the same inspiration as Kristen’s story…about hope and second chances. I’m so happy that your husband understand that your healing is a work in progress and he is there to help you through it. My dating life wasn’t much fun after my divorce but maybe it was because I wasn’t really ready. So I stopped dating since June 2011 and been working on myself, trying to fall in love with me instead. Then came in this Mystery Man in my life and changes everything. Best of luck to you and your husband 🙂

  12. February 25, 2012 / 8:55 pm

    What a beautiful post and congrats on finding someone that makes you happy. It took me years after my divorce before I was ready to be happy with “me”, and then easily I found someone who could make me smile again and I knew.
    Barbara recently posted..Cake au Citron – {French Lemon Cake}My Profile

  13. February 26, 2012 / 10:53 am

    I was opposed to jumping into marriage again (after two failed ones), but then I met a wonderful Asian man who made it possible for me to love open-hearted once more. If you trust yourself again, anything is possible. ooxx
    Amberr Meadows recently posted..Wall Art is DIY For The Decorating-Challenged Like MeMy Profile

  14. February 27, 2012 / 9:34 am

    I understand those feelings. When I broke up with a guy (right before I met my husband) I was so angry and jaded that I wanted nothing to do with anyone. But my husband persisted and pursued and I’m so glad he did and helped me break down those walls too.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Life’s Lessons: Here We Go AgainMy Profile

  15. sunithi
    March 9, 2012 / 1:11 pm

    Haven’t visited yr blog in a long time ! So sorry ! been wrapped up in some stuff of my own workwise. Am so happy to read this ! you are beautiful inside & out & I always knew you would find the right person. Don’t be afraid to trust again 🙂 Much love .Will follow your story 🙂 Hugz ! So glad we met through Triberr !!!

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