“It’s normal, dude! She’s twenty….(fill in the dots).”
And that’s where I wish my face doesn’t turned green like those emoticon face on yahoo messenger. Every time a similar conversation came up, that’s the line you will hear a lot of Indonesian people throw out in the air when it comes to girls and marriage.
“So?” It frustrate me to the max.
“So, she wants to be married, bla bla bla, you know the drill!” my best friend would said it all and that pretty much sealed the believe that women will never be complete if she’s not married before the age of 30.
“Yeah, just hope she won’t marry a douche bag!”
Granted I got married way too young at 26 and divorced at 31 but it taught me a lot of stuff.
I’ve always been somewhat of a feminist and maybe it even got worst now that I’m a divorcee.
But seriously, Indonesian girls like many other girls in Asian countries are raised to believe that it is their noble life path to get married, become someone’s wife, bear children and raise them well. Circle of life!
Marriage life ain’t a walk in a park!
Yet the pressure still doesn’t change.
Heck, even I got the pressure now that I am a single mom. Being divorced for almost 3 years now, people started to asked “So, when will you get married again?”.
My favorite? “C’mon…don’t wait too long. You’re not young anymore!”
How about this one? “You’re almost 35, very soon you will be too old to have more kids!”
Either I wanted to laugh at that or I want to vomit. Hard to tell but I know my skin has grown thicker throughout the years so usually I just walked away.
Do I want to get married again? Honestly, I’m not sure. I just haven’t met the man who can convince me why I should so until then I’m quite open about the possibility but I do not put a deadline on my status.
Do I want to have another baby? Maybe. If it happens, it will happen but I’d prefer to meet the father first, right? Not someone who will just impregnate me and leave me. That’s what the sperms bank are for!
Some people think I’m still stuck. Excuse me?
Stuck with what exactly?
Just because I am still single it doesn’t mean I’m still bitter towards Mr. X. He and I are on good terms now. We co-parent. We joked. We even swap nebulizer machine for our kids!
Why is it so difficult for people around me to understand and accept that I just haven’t met the right man?
Am I being too picky? Maybe I am, but I had failed before and I don’t want to make the same mistakes so I learned from my past, my mistakes, those lessons. Let’s just say that I have a clearer picture of what kind of man I am looking for now. Thank you very much!
So what if I’m still single?
I am still hanging my dating shoes and it’s been awhile since I last went on a date. Guess what? I’m perfectly fine. It doesn’t make me feel weird going out with my couple friends. We still had fun, had a great time.
Seriously, people just need to take lots of chill pills when it comes to why I’m still single and trust me when I say: yes, I am single and yes I am happy.