Not Goodbye

You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you
But the reason why I’m broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you…

(Homesick – Mercy Me)

Everytime I play this song tears still fell on my cheeks…

It brought me back to years ago when I was a little girl. When I looked up and see that smiling face beaming with so much happiness as she sat there on my bedside telling me stories from the Bible.

If I suppose to picked my favorite moments in my 30 something years knowing her, my childhood wins by a mile.

Having her around when I was little was so much fun. She used to brushed my curly hair before telling me so much intriguing stories. She was a joy all around. It’s like having my own personal Sunday School teacher.

I remember 21 years ago when we both giggled like school girls on her wedding day. I was one her little bride maids…we both love our white gowns. She looked like a princess.

She lived in an island far from me…all I knew was she and her husband both serves as pastors.

Little that I know how much of a special pastor she was to so many people there, it wasn’t until these last week that I learned more about her life.

Whenever we meet I would teased her and made a joke that the ‘collector’ is here. She could pack up so much stuffs in her suitcases.

Little that I know she would be handing those stuffs away to people who needs them more back in her home.

When she came to Jakarta three weeks ago, I almost couldn’t recognize her. She was so frail and her condition just breaks our hearts. She’s still there behind her eyes trapped in the body that had failed her.

I was worried…I was scared that we cannot help her financially…I felt so guilty for even worrying about the dough when all she wanted was to spend her last days with us as a family.

Her son, my cousin who goes to college in another town had to be flown to Jakarta immediately. She was in critical condition. She have her two daughters beside her so it was him she was waited for.

Last week…Saturday June 4th 2011…she won over her breast cancer. Less than 30 minutes after her son came to her bedside. Not long after he whispered to her that he’s finally there and tear fell off  of her closed eyelid. Even when she had lost her consciousness she knew her son, her daughters, her husband and her family were there.

She was only 45 years old…She’s gone too soon.

The pain is still raw…tears still fell down but it is a comfort when we saw how much she was loved by her people in Kupang. Nearly the whole city showed up, mourning for her. I was told more people showed up for her than when the mayor passed away.

Seeing that makes us realized what an amazing women she was. Seeing strangers touched by her kindness, crying like they too lost their family members gives us comfort.

I love you, Aunty Linda…rest in peace. God gives strength to your husband and children.




Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook



  1. Saundra Rohn
    June 16, 2011 / 10:26 pm

    What a beautiful tribute to Aunty Linda♥ I wish I could have met her♥Now she’s an angel smiling down on us and free from pain and suffering!

  2. June 17, 2011 / 10:59 am

    Thanks for sharing your Aunty Linda with us. How fortunate you were to have her in your life. My thoughts are with her surviving family.

  3. moosmamma
    June 19, 2011 / 12:06 am

    You were blessed to have known such an amazing woman. Hugs to you… my heart goes out to you in this time of deep sorrow…

  4. June 21, 2011 / 1:26 am

    Maureen, I am so sorry… a beautiful tribute that brought tears to my eyes. Thinking of you and your family. Sounds like Aunty Linda was a beautiful woman.

  5. June 24, 2011 / 1:48 am

    Hi Maureen,
    I’m sorry to read about your Aunt Linda and I send my condolences and deepest sympathies to you and her family… She must have been a truly special angel of a lady… May God ‘s speed be with her. RIP.

  6. January 31, 2012 / 4:06 pm

    Beautiful tribute Mau. I cried reading this.

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