An old friend from college chatted with me a couple of days ago asking one of the ‘famous’ questions that us Indonesian women who married to white men often hears.
“Do you know a single bule* guy?”
Apparently she has a friend, let’s name her “Betty” who just broke up with a white guy here and that girl is so brokenhearted but not wanting to date Indonesians.
Now, I’m not going to attack that girl for her taste in dating white guys because I too had actually stopped dating locals’ years before I met Mr. X. It got nothing to do with the ‘trending lifestyle’ as some would put it, for me it’s a matter of personal choices. Without sounding like a racist – just the way some people prefer strawberry ice-cream, I like vanilla better!
I know how broken heart felt like so I can sympathize to a certain level especially since most of the white guys that lives and works in Jakarta are well known to be a player. How so? Simple, because let’s face it, they have these brown exotic girls throwing themselves at them. Supplies and demands play a factor.
But, what I do not sympathize is that fact that Betty dated a married guy! This is where I can’t feel sorry for their broken relationship. Granted, it takes two to tango but as the one who is not attached, she shouldn’t get carried away with the affair.
I will write about this affair thing in a later post as it deserves a whole new post.
Back to my friend’s question, I told her that no, I don’t have any single white guy friends so I can’t play the role of matchmaker for Betty. Plus Mr. X is not working in a foreign company where he would be associated with other expats and we only have a few expats friends here but they’re also married. Where he works now there are only 2 expatriates, him and a married British guy.
When I suggest that Betty try the plenty of dating sites out there, my friend said Betty would prefer someone who’s a friend of someone. Well, make sense…but tough luck because I can’t be any help. Plus, honestly…I’m not comfortable playing matchmaker in the first place. If both parties are mature enough then great but if one of them will point fingers at me if their ‘thing’ doesn’t work out…well that would just be too weird and awkward. So, even if I know someone I wouldn’t want to get involved in playing cupid.
From a small survey I did yesterday on my Facebook profile, I found out most of my friends who are in a mix marriage basically have the will to help out if the opportunity is there, meaning if the ‘bule’ is available but what they doesn’t appreciate is the nagging to find one. One girl replied that some of her friends went so far to give her deadlines of when to find Mr. Perfect White Guys for them with specific characteristics. Now, isn’t that something?
If you’re Indonesian and married to a white guy, have you ever get asked the same request? How did you handle it? If you’re not Indonesian, how do you feel about such request?
*bule = Indonesian slang for white skin