Why Living With My Parents Is The Best Decision

I’m almost 36 years old and I still live with my parents.

Let’s let that sink in for a bit…

Yet it is considered to be perfectly normal from the Asian standard way of living. It is the new normal that I have accepted.

I first ‘officially’ moved back into my parents’ place following my separation from my then husband. Against all odds, I decided to move out. The lawyer I met was furious about it and called me stupid – I din’t hire her!

But I am so thankful for my parents. Who took my son and me back in a heartbeat without any judgment. If my separation were to happen back when I was still living in the US, things might be so different. In America, I have no relatives nor many friends where I used to lived.

My family was my safety net that allowed me to fell freely when my whole world came tumbling down.

I rebuilt my life, I moved on and nearly 5 years later I am still here. Living under my parents’ roof. I help cared for my parents when they fell ill along with my brothers. Only one of my two brothers had moved out – just two blocks down the street. My youngest one still lives here too.

There are lots of times where I miss living alone, having a place to call my own. Me, the independent girl who left the nest earlier than my brothers ever did. I was so used to do things my own way and in my own terms. That’s what I miss most about having my own space.

Yet I realized I still have a purpose to be here, to assist my mother and keep her company while my father works many miles away from home. To allow my son to get to know his grandparents and uncles and forming a strong bond that will last a lifetime. Maybe it’s a blessed chance for me to enjoy every second my gorgeous niece whenever she’s in my arms, to kiss her delicious cheeks often and to knit lifelong ties between an aunty and her niece.

How lucky am I?

As eager as I am for the new chapter of my life to unfold with Dan, I realized I am on a borrowed times at the moment. That thing might and will change for us. People keep asking when we will get married after we announced our engagement and some already asked where we will make a home for ourselves since he is still in Melbourne and I am in Jakarta. Only 3235.99 miles apart from each other!

To the nice friends and people who keep asking, I can only smile and tell you guys that we will reveal everything in due time. We are not rushing to the altar. We are planning to spend the rest of our lives together and in that alone lays a beautiful precious feeling.

So what does one grown up woman do then?

Smile widely and absorb every essence of blessings that still allows her to share her life with the people that she loves oh and takes some photos too!

How is your living arrangement? Do you live close to your family or far apart? Please do share your story.

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Maureen

Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

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17 Comments

  1. December 17, 2014 / 8:52 pm

    Indeed..family is our best net in any kind of weather…. 😉
    Salam kenal mak 🙂

    • Maureen
      Author
      December 19, 2014 / 12:26 pm

      Love that and it is so true! Salam kenal balik ya mak 😀

  2. December 17, 2014 / 11:14 pm

    I have moved out from home since college. Not really moved out because I went for college in Bandung. But after graduate I went straight to India for two years, and then back to Indonesia straight to Lombok. After that in almost 5 years I have moved between three countries, 3 cities. I don’t feel like staying back in Jakarta with my mom…but never say never 🙂 Anyway my mom normally is the one who comes stay with us (except the overseas part).
    Rina recently posted..Dos and Don’ts When Attending Your Kid’s School PerformanceMy Profile

    • Maureen
      Author
      December 19, 2014 / 12:29 pm

      What an experience you had! I left home the first time to go to high school in Jakarta that felt like ages ago hahaha. Thanks for sharing!

  3. December 18, 2014 / 12:08 am

    Don’t give a space in your heart about what people thinking. Just take ur time, enjoy your moment, and be happy! cheers 😉

    • Maureen
      Author
      December 19, 2014 / 12:36 pm

      I’m not mbak 🙂 the space in my heart and life is too expensive to give to unnecessary things hahaha. Thank you for the reminder. Makasih udah mampir ya.

  4. December 18, 2014 / 11:37 am

    Since highschool,I’ve been wanting to live far from my parents. To study, find a job, and get married with someone who lives out of the city. It happened. But now, I miss my parents, and desperatelly want my husband to get a job in Jakarta, so we could live back in my parents house. I want them to be near me in their pension time, and want them to be with their grandkids. Miss the good’ol times! Wish me luck yah! ^^
    Putu Ayu recently posted..Rusher Black Mica Metallic saya yang gantengMy Profile

    • Maureen
      Author
      December 19, 2014 / 12:39 pm

      Aww I wish you and your husband can soon move back to Jakarta and have your wishes come true ya Mbak. Such a noble wish. Believe, pray and work hard towards your goals…I’m sure it will come true.

  5. December 18, 2014 / 1:48 pm

    Hai salam kenal Mak,

    Enjoy what your life now, aku tinggal di rumah kontrakan coz my parents so far from my city and my mother in law must take care cucu dari anak yang lainnya, so…yang terbaik semoga hasilnya baik.

    • Maureen
      Author
      December 19, 2014 / 12:43 pm

      Hi Mak salam kenal balik. Makasih udah mampir ya.
      Iya aku sekarang udah bisa enjoy karena mikir nanti kalau aku nikah pasti akan pindah dari rumah dan malah ada perasaan agak sedih ngebayang nanti ibuku gimana.

  6. December 18, 2014 / 3:15 pm

    salam kenal ya, Mak.

    aku juga masih tinggal sama ortu, abis ga tega ninggalin Mamaku. Pastinya emang enak banget tinggal bareng ortu. ^^

    • Maureen
      Author
      December 19, 2014 / 12:47 pm

      Salam kenal juga Mak Novia. Makasih udah mampir ya. Wah seru ada temennya dong aku hehehe 😀

    • Maureen
      Author
      December 19, 2014 / 12:49 pm

      Kalau tinggal sama mertua pasti juga ada suka-dukanya ya Mak?

  7. FAN
    December 20, 2014 / 12:04 am

    Kak Oyeennnnn … selalu suka dengan tulisan2nya sejak dulu.

    Mumpung masih ada mama ya kak. Jaga dan temani terus sampai ujung umur …

    And keep on blogging ya kakkk … Love it !!!

    • Maureen
      Author
      December 22, 2014 / 1:35 pm

      Waaah makasih Cici sayang! 🙂

  8. December 20, 2014 / 12:53 am

    I live with my father in law temporarily until my own house is finished. I once lived with him years ago and once lived with my parent too. It’s the safest and the most convenience place when you can’t have your own but sometimes I have difficult time with them as well. 🙂
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