With how cheap domestic helper/nanny/maid whatever you want to call it here in Indonesia, has Indonesian become spoil parents?
Granted there are still parents who go against the ‘tradition’ of having their own nanny and plunge headfirst into the unknown role of parenting but it seems a lot of parents – specifically those within the middle-upper class economic status – these days would be on the hunt for a nanny even before they decide which crib to pick.
So when one of my blogger friend questioning about this “nanny nation” trend because she saw a Western family with a baby dining out without a nanny and they seem alright while right on another table she saw local families with their entourage of nannies. She raised a very interesting question after I replied to her tweet “Expat next table: 10 mo baby, no nanny. Indonesian family behind, 4 yrs old on nanny’s lap. Other Indonesian, the whole family eats & nanny watching. What’s wrong?”
Very common sightings in Jakarta mall…
A beautiful preppy Mom in heels carrying a cute tote purse… two small children with their own personal nannies tailing behind her. From a stranger’s point of view…that mom seems like she never lifts a finger to even wipe a stinky butt or miss her beauty sleep.
Yes, it’s one of the perks of living here is nannies are cheap! Usually, for less than $100 a month – or more as they’ll tend to charge more if you’re an expatriate – you can get one from the many nannies agency out there. If both parents are working full time, a nanny can really be a life saver since daycare is not really that popular in Jakarta.
What I fail to understand is the needs to have a nanny for each child. I’ve seen 3 spoil brats with 3 nannies!
Around our apartment I’ve seen a girl probably around 8-9 years old still with a nanny and one day in an elevator this girl – a brat obviously – dropped something on the floor and snapped at the nanny to pick it up. Shocking! Made me wonder where did she learn to treat the nanny that bad? Surprising? I don’t think so!
Back at the mall…
Food court or restaurant scenes – a family is dining out. The nanny would either be trying to feed the children no matter how old they seem or sitting on the nearby table with a cup of water – if she’s lucky!
Of course, there’s a possibility that the nanny already ate at home but it’s just upsetting to see this common sighting. Even my mother who always have a housekeeper (we never have a nanny growing up) made comments sometimes when she sees these poor treatments.
Since we are still nanny-less after our first and last experience with a domestic helper – I refuse to hire a nanny specifically. I just need someone to help me when I have errands to do such as going to the banks and other places that are not very child-friendly and watch Lil’ A at the play area if I’m meeting some friends for lunch and my mom’s housekeeper has been sufficient enough for this.
Substitute nanny paychecks will be double during the Eid holiday where most families are frantically searching for someone to temporarily do the nanny duties. Have Indonesian parents become so strongly dependent on their nannies that they couldn’t even survive without them for 2 weeks? Again, it might be a different scenario for working moms.
Maybe it’s a big city phenomenon but it is truly sad when I saw this picture circulating online.
It’s a quiz for a first-grade student. The Question is: “Whose love does the picture beside describe?” Answers: A. Maid, B.Mother, C. Father.
See the dual irony on the picture? Maybe the child feels more loved by his/her maid aka Nanny. Maybe the Mother is a working mom so the child spends most of his time with the hired help. See how the teacher marked that question as wrong? That’s an honest answer from a child! Maybe the picture was so badly drawn it doesn’t look at all a mother in a first grader’s eyes…but still. It’s sad really.
Personally, I’m not against Nanny but as parents, I wouldn’t want my son to be solely dependable to his Nanny…we want him to grow to be an independent little person.
Not someone who has his every need caters of.
Also, it may have something to do with the facts that we have been raising our son alone since he was born without any helps because we lived far away from our families and this makes it hard on me to trust others to care for him. Even when there are days where I wish I could hop on a plane to Bali and lounge by the beach sipping a margarita!
I think it is important to remember that Nannies are hired to help. Keyword: HELP which means their existence in our household suppose to help and give us that much-needed break once in awhile not replacing our roles as parents, which sadly seems to be forgotten by some parents here.
So do you think Indonesian parents have become too spoiled? How do you feel about nanny?