Graduation & Co-Parenting Milestones

Two years ago…

He held my hand tightly as we walked into the school. He was very shy.

I don’t want to go in there!” tears formed in his beautiful eyes.

You will be fine, pumpkin. I’ll see you after school, okay?” I kissed his cheeks before the teacher ushered him upstairs to the game room right next to his new class. They went inside and closed the door.

He will be fine, Ibu*” smiled one of the two teachers from his class.

I peeked through the small window by the door. My baby was crying alone while holding on to a little train and my heart sank. Second guessing my decision to put him in school, I had to force myself to walk out of the school without him.

Iris Class Last Saturday…

When I walked him into the theater, he dropped my hand quickly as he saw his friends. “See you Mommy!” he waved before darting inside, behind the stage.

As I got an hour or so to wait before the show started, I sat outside alone with just me and my mind.

I still can’t believe my little boy, my shy little man is going to graduate Kindergarten.

A lot has happened in the past two years since he first started school. A lot of tears. A lot of uncertainty, a lot of doubts, a lot of worries on my part.

I worried he won’t be able to read as good as his friends, turned out the teachers praised him for being one of the advanced readers in his class.

I worried he won’t get over his shyness, yet he played King in the last school performance and did so well.

Sitting there reflecting on how these past two years has been for my boy, for me. It wasn’t just him who grows. I did too. I learned to stop stressing so much and to trust that he will be fine.

A tear then two managed to escape before I had a chance to fish some tissue out of my purse.

Kindy Folder

My premature baby is graduating kindergarten.

For some people, this may seem too mundane, so ordinary and nothing to be blown out of proportion yet for me? It was huge.

Mr. X managed to show up, albeit a bit late, for him just to show up was monumental because he has managed to miss out on every single school’s performance since A started school.

Awkward? Yes, you bet but it wasn’t about me, wasn’t about him. It was about our son.

So he and I sat there watching almost the end of the play “Peter Pan”. Mr. X got to see A as one of the lost boys with his friends.

Before the graduation ceremony started, there was a 30 minutes break. Parents got snack boxes. Not sure what to do because he and I were never in that situation before, I just stood alone by the big window sipping my water. Mr. X came by after he was finished with his cigarette. We managed to carry a regular conversation about his work, about the new baby. He even showed me some pictures of the baby and I genuinely praised how cute he is.

I told him thank you for coming on that special day. It meant the world for the graduating little boy to see both his parents there.

If you are divorced, how do you handle stuff like graduations and school events?

*Ibu = Ma’am


  1. June 5, 2013 / 11:05 am

    Oh tissues are essential at these events. I’m pleased Mr X came too. xx

    • Maureen
      June 5, 2013 / 6:01 pm

      And I’m so glad I brought plenty, Karyn 🙂 Thank you, my friend!

  2. June 5, 2013 / 11:21 am

    Oh, he looks BEYOND adorable in that little cap and gown!! It sounds like he is thriving and that it has been a wonderful, big year for both of you!

    • Maureen
      June 5, 2013 / 6:04 pm

      Thank you, really he looks so big on that picture, I was blown away by it but then again I’m biased lol. 🙂

  3. June 5, 2013 / 1:16 pm

    Congratulations, Alex! And to you, Maureen. You have both come so far together. Hand in hand, heart in heart.

    I’m glad his Dad took the time to be there too, and that you were civil and polite. You’ve come a long way in so many ways, my friend. So proud of you.

    • Maureen
      June 5, 2013 / 6:05 pm

      Thank you Alison, it’s been quite a journey…one that I now can safely said I would never change for anything because it brought me here to where I am today.

  4. June 5, 2013 / 5:19 pm

    We live too far apart for my ex husband to participate in anything, so this is not something I have to handle.

    • Maureen
      June 5, 2013 / 6:20 pm

      Thank you for sharing 🙂

  5. shaula
    June 5, 2013 / 7:14 pm

    Ahh, I love this. Congrats Mama, you’ve done an amazing job. I can relate – I shed a tear today while talking about how far my once-shy boy has come in the last year. Such an incredible journey we’re all on…We’re away for the summer, but let’s plan that playdate meet up when we get back!

    • Maureen
      June 7, 2013 / 9:36 am

      Thank you so much, Shaula!
      Amazing isn’t to see our children blossoming into more confident little persons as they grow. It really is incredible.
      Can’t wait to see you soon, Shaula. Enjoy your summer vacation 🙂

  6. June 5, 2013 / 9:01 pm

    No matter how old they are, or how brave we try to be, those tears will slip, and it’s okay – it’s our love spilling over!

    Graduation is an accomplishment for both child and parent. Congratulations to you both, and for your grace and calm under pressure with Mr. X.

    • Maureen
      June 7, 2013 / 9:37 am

      Oh Andrea, I so love that! “Our love spilling over!” So beautiful and oh so true.
      Thank you, sweet lady!

  7. June 5, 2013 / 11:01 pm

    I’m glad that you and Mr. X got the opportunity to experience such a wonderful occasion. The memories that your little one will get to carry with him throughout his life is so worth it.
    I’m a single mother (in every sense of the word) and the only memories that my children will capture are the ones that contain only me. I’m so happy for you and your son!

    • Maureen
      June 7, 2013 / 9:40 am

      Thank you Mariann. I am sure seeing his father and mother there all smiling would means the world to my son and hopefully he would remember that. Your children is so blessed with such a strong and wonderful mother. Hugs!

    • Maureen
      June 7, 2013 / 9:41 am

      Thank you sweety!

  8. June 6, 2013 / 4:15 pm

    Just from reading one post of yours, I can’t believe how much we have in common. My boy too was a preemie and behind in reading. He just graduated from basic skills, which is t he special help program we have in our town – because in a year (he is in first grade) he advanced to grade level reading. I am also a single mom and I invite my ex to everything too. It’s about the kids, first and always, like you said.

    • Maureen
      June 7, 2013 / 9:55 am

      Oh Ilene wow that’s a lot in common for sure! Can’t believe I just found your blog.
      Always about the kids isn’t? I just wish sometimes all adults can well be adults and understand that. Thank you Ilene and it’s so wonderful to connect with you 🙂

  9. June 6, 2013 / 10:03 pm

    Congratulations on that milestone! And your words oozed with how much you appreciated and soaked up that moment. These are the best moments of parenting for sure.

    • Maureen
      June 7, 2013 / 10:25 am

      Thank you so much Katy, really appreciate your kind words 🙂

  10. June 7, 2013 / 12:23 am

    This is anything but mundane my dear. This is a huge huge milestone and you have every right to be boasting about how wonderful and determined and strong your boy is.
    I’m glad that Mr.X showed up for him. I bet that your son felt so important and loved in those moments. That’s what it’s all about. Being a part of a family…even if it’s “different”.

    • Maureen
      June 7, 2013 / 10:28 am

      That’s what I’m trying to get him to understand that it is OK to be different, that doesn’t make us any less than his friends and their families.
      Thank you for your encouraging words, girl. Really, means a lot!

  11. June 7, 2013 / 8:28 am

    It is always awkward when the ex is around, but the best gift we can give to our children is to be civil and kind and focus on THEM. Good for you for doing that. It is so hard:(

    • Maureen
      June 7, 2013 / 11:46 am

      It is quite awkward especially because I haven’t meet him in months because we’ve just been communicating via texts and it was his driver who came to pick up the boy. It is hard but doable. Thank you for your kind words 🙂

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