Bittersweet With No Regrets

When I packed my suitcases, left the only world I’ve known to start building a life I thought was meant to be mine, ours…there’s no regrets.

When we decided to start a family despite your one teenager and one tween in the house that made me a step-mom, I plunge into the unknown of motherhood. There were no regrets.

When I hold that baby for the very first time – only three days after he was born. There was no regret in being bed ridden for four long weeks and being bored out of my mind.

Then as things went downhill…yes, I regretted a lot of things. The “what ifs”, the “should’ve” were plenty.

It took awhile – no a whole heck of a long time – to finally be able to face the final curtains. To finally accepted everything without any more qualms. For I had bent over backwards before walking away was the only choice left.

Because of that I can now face the world with my head held high knowing the scars inside me will eventually heals over time and the end just means a brand new start on my part.

His story and mine has ended maybe just because that’s how the destiny unfolds. Maybe because God have something else in store for me…there are plenty of maybes but I’m welcoming it all with optimism. After the hell I went through, things could only get far better and brighter.

When regrets gnaw my consciousness all I have to do is take one look at the boy who is mine. His cheeky little ways taught me to laugh even when I feel shitty inside.  One look at him…and there are no regrets.

“No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?” – Adele’s “Someone Like You”

I am linking up with Just Be Enough after weeks of hiatus from one of my favorite meme. My father is now home and recovering. Thank you for all your prayers and support during these past few weeks of hard times.

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Comments

  1. November 8, 2011 / 7:04 pm

    Beautiful post, Maureen. I think your perspective is brave and wonderful. It could easily have been disastrous but you’ve turned it around and made it a positive experience. Thank you for linking up with JBE!

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:46 am

      Thank you Alison, it hasn’t been easy but there’s no other way but up for me and my son. I have always loved the amazing inspiring posts from JBE I wish I can participate more.

  2. November 8, 2011 / 11:23 pm

    Girl, I’m so happy to hear that your dad is doing better!
    THis is a great post. THis is actually how I learned to live my life.
    with no regrets.
    everything, every darn thing, happens for a reason and helps shape who we are, what we do with our lives and how we parent.
    so i too live with no regrets.
    hugs to you my darlin’

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:47 am

      I’m with you, every darn thing really does happen for a reason. Thank you for your never ending support, my friend. You know I love you big time!

  3. November 9, 2011 / 12:34 am

    Beautfiul post. You articulated so many of the things I have been feeling. Thank you!

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:48 am

      Thank you very much, Liz that’s so kind of you. 🙂

  4. November 9, 2011 / 2:33 am

    What wonderful post! I am so glad you live without looking back with regrets.

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:49 am

      Thank you. What happened has got to happen for a reason. Some I may have yet to understand but I accept the things I can’t change. Thank you again.

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:50 am

      Thank you Bridget 🙂

  5. November 9, 2011 / 11:35 am

    Beautiful post and beautiful and fitting picture!

    My thoughts are with you and your family and I’m glad to see you back!

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:50 am

      Thank you so much, my friend! Hugs to you 🙂

  6. November 9, 2011 / 12:08 pm

    So true, your son is the reason to not have any regrets about the other things that didn’t work out as planned. He is your true miracle.

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:51 am

      He really is, Maria and I wouldn’t change a thing now looking back because he really is the best gift God has ever given me. Thank you, friend!

  7. November 10, 2011 / 4:05 am

    It’s easy to fall into a trap of regret – you’re strong for not getting caught in it. Doubly so for facing the events that could be painful to remember. So glad your father is home and I hope he’s doing well.

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:52 am

      Thank you my sweet sweet Nami, I still have things to sort out internally but things can only get better from now on.

  8. November 10, 2011 / 10:13 am

    Oh Maureen, you know that I am with you on this. And you—you are so strong. You made a decision to take care of your and your beautiful son—and that—that is a gift. Glad your dad is feeling better—sending you hugs!

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:53 am

      Thank you so much Elena. Sorry I’ve been such a bad bloggy neighbor as I haven’t been able to visit your blog lately. Sending you much love!

  9. November 11, 2011 / 9:04 am

    My heart goes out to you…you are a strong woman Maureen. And children can be our fortress at times like these. Whether they ever realize it or not.

    Wonderfully written.

    And I LOVE that Adele song.

    • November 20, 2011 / 10:55 am

      I heart Adele big time too 🙂

      Thank you so much. I didn’t know how much strength I really have in me if it’s not for my son’s sake. He really is amazing.

  10. November 11, 2011 / 9:14 am

    I wish you the best in your personal journey, Maureen. Women like you, who despite all the setbacks life has thrown your way, have remained positive and resilient, truly inspire me. After twelve years together, my husband recently told me he no longer had feelings for me and wanted a divorce. It felt as if my whole world had been blown apart. I’m sure that was how you felt when you went through yours, and that is why I respect you even more. For moving forward despite the pain. For being a great mother to your son. For writing and letting the world knows that it’s not the end. xoxo, my friend.

  11. November 12, 2011 / 11:56 am

    Where would we be in life if we never made decisions that hurt us? How would we grow without difficulties?

    I am sorry for the pain you’ve experienced. Thank you for sharing your growth. And blessings.

    Thanks for visiting on my SITS day. It was a fun day for me.

    I hope you have a lovely weekend.

  12. November 16, 2011 / 7:12 am

    A beautiful post… thanks for sharing your heart. In life, there will be regrets, but we don’t have to let those regrets rule our lives. We learn from them, from the mistakes we’ve made, and then move on to live an even better life. Keep the positive spirit; you’ve walked out of the valley and things will only get better!

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