Maureen

Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

Posts by this author:

Some Ideas To Heal Jakarta’s Traffic

Jakarta: Feature

Creative Commons License photo credit: Ikhlasul Amal

Jakarta traffic has been steadily getting worst by the years! 5 years ago it was bad, today it’s one of the worst in the world and if the government really didn’t step in and do something it will only get worst. Did you know Jakarta is estimated to lose $1 billion a year due to the bad traffic and collective failure of urban planning dates back at least 50 years, and has left the city with no integrated system of public transport. Says 70% of Jakarta population uses private vehicles.

By all means, I’m no expert but dealing with the crazy Jakarta traffic almost daily, hey like it or not I will have to go outside and do stuff, can’t help but wondering what can be improved about this nightmare. Here are some ideas:

  • Fix the public transportation system! With how bad  public transportation look and their services here, not very many people are willing to use the bus or train if they have better option such as their own cars/motorbike or taxi. Most public buses here look like it might give you tetanus if you get bump on one! They are very unregulated too besides the obvious cleanliness factor which is almost non-existent, these buses sometimes contribute a lot with jamming the traffic by stopping whenever and wherever they sees fit. God knows, I got so irritated if they stop and wait on people to hopped in and blocked traffic behind them. An intersection in Slipi area is one of the worst where big buses and those smalls mikrolet just stop and do whatever they want, even when a traffic police officer is right there, standing directing traffic with so much failure I feel sorry for the man. I wonder when someone from the government will finally have enough courage to stand up and actually do something about this. I would love to take my son on a public transportation as long as it’s in a decent and clean condition and I’m sure most Jakartans will do too!
  • Busway system just doesn’t work! The initial idea is pretty great! When it first opened 6 years ago I gave it a try and it does speed up commuting time. Fast forward it to today, busway seems to do little to help ease the horrible traffic as I saw their routes expanded, they are always full, reminded me of just another ride in metro mini! Very inconvenience! If the streets of Jakarta are as wide and as well constructed as its other neighboring country, busway will works! There are just not enough lanes for this once a grand project of Jakarta old governor.
  • Built bigger road, less malls! With its visit Jakarta campaign, boasting about the shopping experience in Jakarta felt like a big joke. Uhm, yeah I’d rather go to Jakarta and shop at their grand fancy malls but I will stay until the mall is close to avoid being caught in traffic jam? I don’t think so! Maybe, the officials should take a little visit to Guangzhou, China and see how impressive their road infrastructures. Granted, I haven’t seen all of China but with that many people there, they really did a great job with their roads. Their highways are real highway unlike Jakarta’s nightmare toll roads! It is a public understanding here that the roads in Jakarta were built only to fatten the greedy corrupted government officials. These companies had to spent tons of money buying their way to win the bid thus, the quality of their job will deteriorate resulting in many roads of Jakarta being in terrible conditions within only a year or two. To get it fixed, again place your bidding to the government, never ending cycle right? But really, Jakarta needs to be ashamed of their road conditions!
  • Put a STOP to overpopulated motorbikes on the road. For roughly $50, people can take a brand new motorbike home in Jakarta. Promotions of cheap motorbikes are everywhere. I can go on and on and on about how obnoxious most motorbikes’ drivers in Jakarta, so let’s not go there. The point is, there are way too many motorbikes already and it is nuts to expect people in their cars to pay attention to them instead of the other way around!
  • Regulate toll road usage. How many times you’d notice on a creeping toll road (especially the one that goes to the airport?) these big 16-wheelers or 18-wheelers that drive slow and sometimes on the right lane?! It annoys the heck out of me to see this! Why, because these big giants can easily take a detour and use the outer ring toll roads instead of going through the city. Back in the US, most big trucks like this especially ones that goes from town to town will take the highway/interstates that doesn’t connect them through the city, in other words they stay off the city traffic! Should these giants really need to go through the city for construction reasons, regulate it so they can only go into the city after let’s say from 11 PM until 4 AM!
  • A stricter Driver License Regulation. The rules are there and has been there by the book (probably dusty somewhere!) that everyone must take a test before being handed their license. I remember how funny it was when my father went down to make a new license because he had lost his wallet in Johannesburg and the police simply told him that all will be ‘taken care of’ if he paid this much money. Being, the competent driver that he is and an expert in defensive driving course, he demanded to take the test. Now, imagine if these rules are being strictly implemented? It would mean fewer idiots on the loose in Jakarta streets! Accidents numbers will probably go down. Use the point system like in some other countries. Speeding tickets will reduce your points and worst come to worst, one will lose their license! Maybe implying this plus the vehicles insurance alongside the registrations, tax will also help in healing Jakarta’s traffic.

I maybe just a mom…but I think about these stuffs and I believe whoever it is in charge in our government better thinks for the people too instead of fighting like bullies in the parliament seats.

Follow:
Maureen

Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook

Noisy Much?

Jakarta

Today’s article on The Jakarta Post about In Search of A Good Night Sleep got my mind reeling and I know I just have to blog about it.

With the recorded population number of over 8 million (and I’m sure it is more), Jakarta is definitely one of the loudest city I have ever known. Not very many people especially the locals are aware of this because when you born-raise-grew up here and pretty much never left the city you will not get to see how loud Jakarta really is.

Let’s look at the malls here; just about every shop has music blaring at what seems to be 120 decibels. That is loud! Not to mention when they are having special events with stage and all then you can be sure the noise can be heard miles away. We are currently living right next to one of the many fancy new malls that seems to be popping out of the ground every few days! Advantage, groceries shopping is just a walk away; in fact they just opened an underground pass that goes straight to the Lower Ground where Carrefour is located. But, on some nights I swear I want to torch down that mall simply because they are being obnoxiously too loud! Last Friday, I noticed they had set up yet another stage by their outdoor park. Sound check? Possibly! But why on earth would they do that until way after 2 in the morning is beyond me. This is not the first time; since we’ve been living here they had ‘parties’ with blaring music a lot! Saturday night is forgivable, but Sunday or Friday night? Totally made me cursing my night away! And they are building an adjacent hotel to that mall? Maybe they should make sure that the walls are soundproofs!

Then you have the mosques! Where we are living now, it gets quite loud during the evening calls of prayer and in early dawn. There must be more than 10 mosques competing with one another. Imagine horrendous American Idol auditions with 10 or more wannabes put into one room each holding a microphone! At first, it gets really annoying because you know in its country of origin in Middle East, the call of prayers are not as loud as what you will hear here. I’m sure it does not only bother me, it also bothers other people whose houses are within close proximity to these mosques. If we, who are living on the 30th floor, can hear them loud and clear, imagine how would it be if you’re just a door away? But most people are afraid to voice their complaints for religion is still very much a super sensitive case on this country. Now, I’m used to it although I still miss the calmness of early morning breaking into my day. Noise ordinance is simply non-existent in Jakarta unless you have a sound proof home.

Fortunately some people are starting to realize the long term damage this type of pollution. Free from Noise Society is one of them (I hope they’ll have a website done soon!) to spread more awareness and give others courage to speak up. The group claims that 10.7 percent of people who conduct activities in the streets of Jakarta have hearing problems. Shocking? NOT!

Follow:
Maureen

Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook

10 Packing Tips For International Flight With Children

From the age of less than 9 months old, Little A and I has been flying internationally.  After a lot of researched on my part and from personal experience I decided to share you this list.

10 Packing Tips For International Flight(s) with Baby/Toddler

  • Snacks & Food: Pack enough snacks/foods to last you for  7 days on a boat from Alaska!
  • Change of clothes: Bring extras for your baby/toddler and also for you. You never know when you’ll get soaked with spit ups or worst vomits.
  • Bring a Tylenol/Benadryl: I’m not advising you to drug your child but some had sworn it works, better consult your doctor first. Benadryl never works for mine tho’ it makes him hyper!
  • iPods/iPads: or other movie player that’s not too bulky. Make sure you get some covers at least to prevent those curious fingers from playing with it and just focusing on watching. This is useful especially if you’re on-board flights with no personal entertainment units (those little TV behind the seats). Portable DVD player is also favorable but it can be quiet bulky. I found this cute little movieplayer from Walmart and had put our portable DVD at home instead. They’re cheap but my son have a kick out of it.
  • Toys: If you can afford new toys for the kiddos on by all means go ahead and get some new toys but don’t give it all at once. One at a time whenever boredom strikes. Sometimes I ‘recycle’ my son’s toys by going through some of the toys that he haven’t played with in awhile and hide them, wrap them with colorful wrapping papers. Believe me, toddler get a kick out of unwrapping their presents. Doodle board, sticker books, crayons and coloring books are some of my son’s all time  favorite. If you’re flying a really long haul flights with an overnight transit, put some more toys in your luggage that you can take out for the next leg of flights.
  • Plastic bags: Just carry some plastic bags from your groceries, folded them up and put in in your carry on. From stinky poopy diapers to wet clothes (if your child/baby vomit), this will comes in handy!
  • Sponge: Yes, wet the sponge, soak it with dish soap and let it dry. Once dried, cut it up into small peaces. Put these in a zip lock bag and use them one by one, throwing each away after use. Comes in handy when you have to take an overnight layover in a hotel inside (or outside the airport) so you can wash those sippy cups! This could be used for any trips away from home and not just flying.
  • Ear plugs: When your child started to throw a tantrum, kindly offer the ear plugs to other passengers closer to you or you can use it yourself!
  • Small treats: Like small chocolates, candies, etc. This one is especially for other passenger if your baby/toddler did have a meltdown and inconsolable. Handed them out  to the nearest passengers before your flight end and maybe that will make them smile.
  • Pack your patience and prepare for the worst. If and when your child got a tantrum (mine cried for almost 6 hours from Korea – Jakarta because he was teething and I was clueless!) do put up a brave face, most people will understand and to your surprise will even go out of their way to help cheer up your child. If you got one of those ‘you’re-a-bad-mommy’ stares just ignore them, chances are you will never see these people again.

No matter how well prepared you are things can still goes very wrong when it comes to flying internationally with a minor. Try not to stress out too much because your child will pick up on that, I know it is easier to said than done especially if you are flying solo but believe me it can be done. It would be great if you can grab your spouse/parents/uncles/or other relatives to come along but sometimes you will have to just go solo. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help and if someone offer a help, by all means take it!

Follow:
Maureen

Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook

Home – Writer Workshop’s Assignment

Mama's Losin' It

Home…in my short 30 years of occupying the planet, I have had many places that fell into one of the assignment of this week’s Writer’s Workshop held by Mama Kat and there are:

  • Soroako: a small nickel mining town in South of Sulawesi (Celebes) island in Indonesia. My parents settled there when I was just a tiny wee baby and it was our home for 12 years. It is a beautiful place where I spent my childhood swimming a lot since the town is surrounded by 3 big lakes and one of them, Lake Matano is the deepest in Indonesia. Was a tomboy back then and you can either find me on the lake (either swimming or diving or kayaking) or on top of my neighbor’s tree (my personal hiding spot when my mother came looking for me). Used to sit there on the tree or on the rooftop for hours just day dreaming. One day, I would love to come back there with Lil’ A.

  • Sangatta: As a miner’s daughter, my father’s job took us to this very small remote town tucked in East of Borneo Island, a coal mining town. By road, it used to take longer than 7 hours drive from the city of Balikpapan (now it’s approximately 7 hours since the road condition is much better than when I lived there) or a mere 45 minutes flight by a small single engine plane utilized primarily by the company who also built the only airport there. Officially, I ‘only’ spent 3 years in this town for Junior High since there weren’t any High School back then so my parents sent me to Jakarta but I would come home for every school holidays. Although it’s literally in the jungle, there were a lot of expatriates there, mainly Australians. The company had built a small yet independent town for their employees and families, from schools down to the supermarkets. Outside the company’s territories, life was shockingly still very traditional for the people of Sangatta. Electricity was scarce, houses were built high above the river beds with mostly outside bathroom, and it would flood on a rainy season as the river got overflows. Company’s houses are beautiful; built on mostly high platforms, our last house there (yes, we lived in 6 different houses there in  total) was my favorite of them all because it’s located up on a high hill with big ceiling to floor windows that overlooked the bay. I still miss that house a lot!

  • Jakarta: The big capital city has become home since I first moved here for High School. No matter how annoying this city can be, this is the place where I mature, went to college, got my first date (yep, I did not have any date let alone boyfriend in high school! LOL), fell madly head over heels in love with several guys, found my very first job, had my wild times. Sometimes I think I have a love-hate affair with the city because I would miss it terribly when we were in the US but I suffered some reverse culture shock when I first moved back. 
  • Latham, New York: This was home for me for over 6 months after I first came to the States to married Mr. X. We lived very close to the airport since that’s where he used to work. The town would forever hold a special place in my heart and I still miss it from time to time. From  seeing and touching (also made snow angel!) my first snow and the beautiful colors of autumn, Latham will always hold a special place in my heart. Found my first job in the US there too, this was unforgettable!

  • Dothan, Alabama: Due to the facts that both Mr. X and I are originally from warmer climates cities, we wanted to find a place where winter doesn’t chill us to the bones so when the opportunity came, we decided to pack up and drive down to Dothan, AL and make that peanuts capital of the world a home. It’s truly different down there compare to up North. I had a hard time settling in due to the facts that their southern accent was very thick and rich; also to put it mildly, the town was kinda hard around the edges for me, there is no public transportation like they have in Upstate New York to help me going places independently (was too afraid to drive!). But there, I met some of the friendliest people in the States. In this southern-bible-belt-small-town, we settled down and made us a home for almost 3 years. This is the town where my son was born.
  • Guangzhou, China: Although I did not stay there long due to paper works reasons (who knew a resident permit is harder to obtain there than back in the US?!) I still considered it was home for a very short period of time. It took one month to get over the initial culture shock there. Even though I am of Asian heritage, China was like a totally different world for me. Mr. X stayed there for a year and had surprisingly picked up the Mandarin language quite easily while I can only master two or three sentences. Moving there was a bold move since we both never been there and doesn’t really know much about the country. There were a lot of great experiences there, plenty of TCM (This is China Moment) such as the Kaidangku, our daredevil Air Con repair guys, and many more amusing sometimes maddening times we had there. 

Those are the 6 places I’ve called home in my life and I’m sure there will be more places to be called home in future but I will never forget these places.

Why don’t you join the fun Mama Kat had provided and blog away. 🙂

Follow:
Maureen

Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook

Birthday Bash – Indonesian Style

3rd Birthday Party

This past week had gone by so fast with blurry images of birthday, birthday, birthday. Part of me is glad that the birthday party is over and now all I have to do is to recover from it.

Our precious Lil’ A turned 3 years old on December7, 2009 but since it fell on Monday and no one threw a birthday party on weekdays here, we postponed the party until last Saturday, a good 5 days later.

Even before we picked the date for the party, I was overwhelmed by how much it takes to throw a kids birthday party here even for a simple one. Perhaps the definition of simple here are just different than what Mr. X and I are used to. The first two birthday parties for Lil’ A were simple, families only, nothing fancy or elaborate. We bought the cake, had snacks then that’s it. Not here tho’…when my Aunt started telling me about the goody bags to do I had to interrupt her “Woaaa…time out! They give out those kinds of goody bags now?!” From faint memories of my childhood birthday parties, the kiddos just went home with simple small box with snacks inside it. Not anymore, she said! Nowadays, the party favors had become more exquisite and of course expensive. I was floored to see the birthday packages price lists offered by event organizer companies here!

We agreed on Thomas the tank engine theme since Lil’ A loves anything Thomas related. Mr. X did the right thing, to stay away from the preparation and left it all to me. Since this is after all Lil’ A’s first birthday party in Indonesia and him being his the first grandson for my parents, understandably my mother wanted to make it special so I agreed with a lot of the stuffs that she offered although personally I’d rather not.

Last week my aunt and I went to this place called Asemka, closeby to Mangga Dua area. It’s like a bulk market where one can find all kinds of party favors for cheap. We got our Thomas backpacks there, too bad I didn’t bring my camera. The place isn’t for the faint of heart tho’ because it is more like a wet market, don’t go there expecting AC or anything fancy like the malls because you won’t get it.

When discussing the venue for his first birthday party in Indonesia, it took us awhile to finally settle for my mom’s house. At first I wanted to have it done at one of the seafood restaurant my family and I frequently visited because they have a nice big backyard but since it is the rainy season, that idea was crossed from my list. There’s no way we could have the party at our apartment or a hotel ballroom (yeah, we’re not going to pay $500 just for a room for 3 hours!) so we agree on having it done at my mom’s place. Considering our budget, and also the facts that December is always the busiest time of spending for our family due to 4 birthdays plus Christmas we didn’t really want to throw such a luxurious birthday bash. Lil’ A is sharing the same birthday as his big half brother Justin. Mr. X is celebrating his birthday on December 24th and my father in-law’s special day fell on December 25th (yes, on Christmas day!)

I wanted to have face painting at the party because I thought the kids would enjoy it so after some researched, found a guy who did it for $50 for 3 hours. Not too bad, I thought. Perhaps one should check out these artists’ works before you hire them because when I think of face-painting, I think of whole face being painted. That’s not what happened at the party, he just painted some small pictures for the kiddos on their faces. One event organizer that I talked to about this said that most Indonesian kids wouldn’t want their whole face painted and sometime their parents won’t want them to have it done while the expats kids usually loves to have their faces painted. The parents that came to our party yesterday, actually encouraged their kids to try it out and I’m glad they did and the kids seems to like it although some of them only wanted their arms painted.

Unfortunately, it rained so hard on the big day. This isn’t good at all because when you are living in Jakarta, you’d know what it means when it rains. The traffic will be a nightmare and I worried most of the guests won’t even make it. Most of the people that we invited who had RSVP-ed on Facebook didn’t come, probably due to that very reason.

Despite the facts that a lot of our guests couldn’t make it and the birthday cake showed up with one side smudge, without the candle (although I had reminded the lady about it hours before our driver and assistant came to pick it up!), and how complicated the preparations were, Mr. X and I agree that Lil’ A did had fun and that’s what mattered most.

On our ride back home I playfully asked Mr. X “So, you want to have another Indonesian style birthday party for him again next year?!” He quickly shook his head and said “No thank you!”  To that I had to agree and said “Yeah, let’s do it our way, next year!” 😀

Follow:
Maureen

Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook

Balikpapan, Revisited

On Friday, November 20th, we had a chance to tag JR along for his business trip to Balikpapan.

Knowing that I spent some years living in Borneo before, made him wanting to take all of us there for the short trip. Last time I went there was in October 2007 with Lil’ A when he was only 7 months old to visit my parents who were still living in that city so I was excited to visit the oil city.

We took the first flight out of Jakarta, scheduled for 6:40 AM. Poor JR still had to finish up some works the night before and stayed up till 2:00 AM. Sure enough I had a hard time waking him up at a quarter before 5. We didn’t leave for the airport until around 5:40 AM and I started to get nervous that we’ll miss our flight. The very long queue line outside the terminal brought a knot in my stomach. Luckily, we saw one of the airline’s staff outside and JR quickly showed his badge then the staff ushered us in through the air crew door. Inside, JR just went to one of the open check in counters, again flashed his badge and we got everything taken care of. By the time we reached the gate they were already boarding.

Plane

We were the last ones boarding that plane because JR had to checked the plane thoroughly while Lil’ A and I waited by the stairs to board. I found it kind of amusing seeing the airline staffs looks puzzled as JR starts to inspect everything and although I’ve been at his job sites a lot before, I never seen him physically check a plane and boy, he didn’t miss a thing! Being part of the airline for only a few months, granted not everyone knows who he is and to him that is an advantage because he got to check on everything firsthandedly. Something like a ‘surprise inspection’.

Even after we boarded, JR didn’t immediately took his seat. He went to the cockpit, and checks everything from the inside too. One of the flight attendant gave him such a dirty look when he opened one of the two small overhead compartments designated for the plane’s documents and found a blanket stowed inside when the sign clearly said “Flight Documents. No Storage.” She tried to argue with JR but he firmly told her NO.

Flying with JR and knowing that he ensured everything is in working orders surely gives me a comforting assurance. Lil’ A did so well on his flight even though we haven’t fly anywhere in errr 10 months. He wanted to fly again right after we landed.

Happy boy

We reached Balikpapan and someone from the airline were already there picking us up and even took care of our 1 suitcase while we waited for the car.

They took us the hotel, we had lunch then JR was picked up to go back to the airport and work. So Lil’ A and I decided to take a stroll around the hotel after we both took a nap. The city looks a little different to me since there are more new buildings and malls around but what I love about that city is its cleanliness, no wonder they won a lot of trophy for the cleanest city in Indonesia. We walked for almost an hour before heading back to the hotel, JR came back around 6:00 PM and we all went out for dinner. Too bad I didn’t bring my camera.

Balikpapan

That night my father’s best friend and his wife, who’s been like my own uncle & aunt came by to drop something for my mother. They came with their granddaughter who’s about the same age as Lil’ A and they had met the last time I was in town in 2007. It’s amazing watching them two because she was such a calm lil’ girl while our boy is well…all boy lol.

The next day, my mom’s friend came over to pick us up with her son, again who’s in the same age as Lil’ A. She took us to Kebun Sayur market, a traditional market that sells gemstones, handicrafts and Borneo’s souvenirs. That place is a tiny heaven for jeweleries lovers, not only that the gems are real but they are way cheaper than if you buy them here in Jakarta. Highly recommended to visit that place! Unfortunately, we cannot stay too long as our boys’ starts to get antsy from the heat.

Necklaces

She then took me to this new mall called the E-center (I think), a brand spanking new mall in Balikpapan. Lunch, then it’s time to call it a day for Lil’ A starts to get too tired.

We decided to check out Melawai area close to the port because I remembered there used to be lots of street food vendors there. Unfortunately, on our way there, it started raining and my aunt called. Well, technically she’s not really my aunt but her husband and our family has been very close since when I was little too. She invited us to dinner at a seafood restaurant. It was fun meeting them again after several years.

It was a fun getaway from Jakarta but now that we’re back I have to focus on preparing our little boy’s 3rd Birthday Party coming up next month. 😀

Follow:
Maureen

Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook

Friendship, Love & Truth

Friendship

True friend is someone who might disagree with your choices in life yet support you anyway & tell it to your face, not behind your back!

Came up with these lines today when I was thinking about all the friendships I ever had in my 30 years of living on this planet. It pretty much sums it all up, don’t you think?

In my lifetime this far, I’ve met and made a lot of friends and undeniably some of us bonded, these are the people that I would lovingly refer to as my besties. Unfortunately some of these friendships crashed and burned, leaving dark memories behind. Have to admit that I still found myself grief for some of these people that I chose to cut ties with completely. Forgiveness is easy yet to forget…that’s quiet harder.

From the 4 majors’ besties breakup I ever had, betrayals were always the source. Betrayal cuts deep and left you brokenhearted much like when you broke up with a boyfriend. Because betrayal means the trust between you and that other person has been violated. Didn’t they say that those closest to you hurt you the most?

After my first two breakups, I thought I had learned to be careful, but apparently life still needs to teach me more and presented me with the last twos. As my father always tell me “You learned the hard way!” and that’s what happened.

Losing two people that I thought were my besties last year were very public, thanks to the internet village. News travel much faster these days so those who’ve known me probably had heard about what happened. No, I’m not going to write the juicy details here as there’s no point to it.

It is a jungle after all out there when it comes to friendship. When I zoomed in on friendship between fellow Indonesians who are in a mix-marriage/relationship, I saw this annoying trend that is difficult to fathom.  At first I wasn’t very aware of this but with times I realized how fake these friendships can be. Don’t get me wrong, there are some truly-genuinely-real-sweethearts out there in these crowds that I had befriends with yet the mean-bitchy-two faced-gossipers are plenty! Oh don’t forget the weird ones too; these kinds of girls are the one that only talks about how much money their husbands make and what kinds of designer labels they have. What’s with the negativity, ladies? All the luxury things you can afford is good for you but it’s not everything and it shouldn’t be an issue when it comes to friendship. Too much drama, mama!

Sometimes I would discuss this with one of my close friend who lives in the States and we both shrug in confusion when we tried to analyze what causing this. Is it rivalry, does it bring them joys to belittle someone else? Only God knows the real answer probably but it is a sad phenomenon when you think about it.

Prior to those two major breakups, I thought I had shielded myself from all these negative energies but boy, was I up for a rude awakening! It hurts like hell inside! Just like a brokenhearted girl, I used to well OK sometimes, still play the whys-how comes-how could discs in my head.

My lessons would be to keep things to myself and to keep my guard up at all time.

Here’s a little something something I wrote after the last breakup:

Camaraderie Avenue was not made to be easy
It wasn’t build in a night or two
Even after years flew like a breeze
Some things may left untrue

Like a glass castle
It is still frail
And when it crumbles
Pieces will cut you profoundly leaving your feelings stale

No glue could ever restore what’s vanished
Imaginations at its best
Nothing but wishful belief you should banished
No use to try and guessed

Time will finally come
For you to pack then turn your back
Keep walking even when you’re numb
Your bleeding heart will eventually healed on its track

The scar will always be there
To strike a chord once in a blue moon
It will linger and it’s alright to grieve
You will eventually learn to trust again

Photo by Juliana Coutinho
Follow:
Maureen

Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook