An Open Letter to My Ex Husband’s Wife

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Dear my ex-husband’s wife,

An Open Letter to My Ex Husband's Wife

First off, I apologized for the hate messages I sent to you on Facebook nearly 6 years ago when I first found out about you.

Truth is, I couldn’t handle the truth of the matters and I needed someone to blame at the time. By hating you I failed to look deep inside me…I couldn’t do that until around 2 years later.

Dear my ex-husband’s wife,

Throughout these years after my share of the ongoing deep soul-searching journey and growing. Facing my own demons. I found my peace and even found love again. This time, with a man who genuinely loves me for the woman I was, the woman I am and the woman I will become.

My hatred for you has faded along with the much-needed growing up I did. Along with acceptance that what he and I had was over and done. The only ties he and I have now is because we have a son together.

The relationship I have with the father of my son has also improved tremendously over these years. We are on friendly terms nowadays. We even discussed my relationship. It doesn’t get any friendlier than that, don’t you think? I am not a threat to your marriage.

Please try to understand that you and I are connected. We are in this together as long as you are still married to the father of my son. You are his stepmom. We don’t need to be besties but maybe civil and who knows where that will lead us once we get to know each other more. You are a part of my son’s life too. You will be there when my son is staying with you over the weekend, over the holidays. My son will be under your supervision.

Maybe it is time to stop avoiding me at all cost. Although I still haven’t met you in person after all these years I have come to terms, that you are part of my ex’s new life now. Just the way my fiancé will be a stepfather to my son. Actually, I have written this to thank you.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you for loving the father of my son the way that I couldn’t do. I wanted him to be happy and with you, he seems happy. You were there for him when I wasn’t. You are what he needs. I wasn’t the kind of partner he needed, I had to be who I was and it wasn’t in alignment with his needs. Just as I am thankful that he let me go. I had grown up in my spirit, in my soul to find the true love that I was meant to be with. So, thank you…from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

I am not talking about all of us holding hands and singing Kumbaya but at least, can we move past the old baggage?

I have forgiven you and I am reaching to you from one mother to another to allow us to open a new page this year where we can put the needs of our children first. I am grateful for everything that has happened in my life.

Dear my ex-husband’s wife, I truly sincerely wish we can get along.

I wish you well.
Your husband’s ex-wife, the mother of your stepson.




Lifestyle and travel blogger, founder of Single Moms Indonesia on a quest of finding joy in everyday life and living life to the fullest with kindness, compassion, grace and a bit of sass.



  1. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)
    January 11, 2016 / 11:11 pm

    I love my ex-husband’s new wife. But then again, I get along pretty well with my ex, too.

  2. January 12, 2016 / 4:09 am

    This is such a powerful letter. Having parents who divorced when I was young, I know how heated things can be when one person moves on before the other. Wishing you both happiness.

  3. Clo Nevaeh
    January 12, 2016 / 6:26 am

    This is such a powerful post. You are such a strong women. I’m not sure how I would feel. But then again, it all depends on the situation.

  4. Elizabeth O.
    January 12, 2016 / 8:18 am

    That’s really admirable of you. This kind of thing is never easy but it’s good to know that you’re the first person reaching out. I hope it all works out well in the end.

  5. victoria
    January 12, 2016 / 3:45 pm

    I love this post. Its so important to have a communication for the child

  6. January 12, 2016 / 8:43 pm

    I admire your ability to grow and accept the situation. You have moved on wonderfully. I wish you a healthy life, much love and joy with your little boy, your fiancé and your family.

  7. tauyanm
    January 14, 2016 / 6:44 pm

    such a very honest and sweet letter

  8. January 18, 2016 / 9:12 pm

    What a lovely letter! Surely it’s better when we can get along for the sake of our kids. This way life is much easier for everybody.
    It takes some time to be able to write this. Glad you achieved such peace at least.
    Marie recently posted..Friend FarewellMy Profile

  9. April 1, 2016 / 6:55 am

    There’s a rain deep inside my heart while reading this. It need such a big heart to accept your ex with other woman to be happy and make up friendship and get along well with your ex. Hope she also reads your sincere feeling.

  10. April 8, 2016 / 4:03 pm

    such a big heart to accept the truth. This is really powerful letter

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