A Date With My Mother

The room was designed to be as comfortable and professional as possible, without too much of ‘cold and sterile’ hospital feelings to it. One side of the wall was painted in rich dark brown shade.

We – my mother and I – waited for about 20 minutes before the nurse called my name. I flipped through the small pregnancy magazine, trying to calm myself. Brain was swirling with thoughts, lots of them. My mother sat there playing with her cell phone next to me.

Into the small examination room we went. The nurse politely told me to get on the bed, prepared my lower stomach for the ultrasound. Next to me was a big ultrasound machine – much bigger than the small clinic I got my first diagnosis at. She covered my legs with blankets that I pulled to cover my bare stomach as the room was pretty cold.

A big monitor was up by the wall so everyone in the room can also see the ultrasound picture.

My mother almost didn’t want to come in with me but I asked her to.

More waiting…by this time I was trying hard not to think about my bladder and how full it feels. In the cold room! Nearly thirty minutes flew by before the doctor, an oncology gynecologist walked in.

He quickly boot up the machine, asked me how I’m feeling, if there’s any complaint.

This is a stock photo not the real room

Yes, I need to pee all the time!” I said as he pulled the ultrasound wand about to touch my lower stomach.

Well, that’s normal if you drink a lot.” He said but quickly changed his mind “Why, of course you would be peeing so much. Look at the size of this.

He did a quick measuring. Concluded my uterine fibroid is 8.47 x 7 something centimeter.

You will need surgery to remove this.

I think I figured that one out.

Where is it exactly located, Doc?” This is one question I forgot to ask the first doctor I met.

Right in the middle of your uterus. See these dark lines…” he pointed to a dark lining on the monitor. “That’s your bladder. This is why you have to use the rest room a lot, because the fibroid is pressing against it.

He quickly asked us to join him in the consultation room – through another door adjacent to the examination room.

What type of surgery, Doc? Can we do laparoscopy?” I asked as we sat in front of him.

Well, I wouldn’t recommend laparoscopy as it may not take out the rest of your fibroid. There’s risk that we can’t clean it all out of your uterus.

The doctor asked me some questions. “How many kids do you have? How old is he? Do you plan to have more children?” the typical.

The doctor is a senior one that I’ve read have pretty good reputation in town when it comes to dealing with uterine fibroids. Yet, I feel he was rushing me.

Can diet affect the fibroids, Doc?” I am curious because I do believe it may play roles in how big this sucker has gotten.

Not really…I don’t really see the connection.” And right there and then I knew this doctor is not for me.

The way he answered my initial questions, he was in a hurry and I got turned off big time by that. Granted, you are a busy doctor, you have many patients waiting for you but please take the time to answer questions, to address concerns instead of just saying “So when do you want to do the surgery?” while opening up your calendar, Doc!

I kept quiet after that and let my mother asked lots of questions.

My mother, my usually quiet mother is showing her strong side that day. She asked so many questions although I do not appreciate how the doctor seems like he doesn’t really want to answer her.

She needed to ask all those questions…she is my mother after all.

What about her gym, Doc? Isn’t that dangerous? She works out a lot.” And I smiled to her.

That’s actually great if she’s working out and staying healthy. The pain she has would probably be double or triple if she doesn’t work out.”

My mother sighed with relief and I felt like hugging her. She’s been worrying about my back-to-the-gym program and had voiced her concern before. So to hear it coming out of a doctor’s mouth that’s good for her. I know she needed that.

Let’s have breakfast downstairs.” My mother said.

That hospital is the same hospital where my father spent over a month after his surgery two years ago. So we pretty much knew the menu at the cafeteria and they are good!

Yes, let’s do that.” I wrap my right arm around her shoulder as we walked through the corridors.

We ordered our food and sat down. She then told me that my late grandmother had actually had a hysterectomy. So it does runs in my family.

It was a great day despite having a second opinion from a doctor who doesn’t seems to care much made me a bit annoyed. I don’t spend much alone time with my mother so that was nice and I truly enjoyed our alone times.

We got to talk, we got to share, and I love her for the fact she seems so excited about Dan and I. I think I need to do this more often with her.

Do you do mother – daughter dates often? 



  1. November 15, 2013 / 6:34 pm

    Oh, Maureen! I’m *so* sorry that you are dealing with this fibroid. They are the worst! (and yours is big. That’s almost as big as a normal uterus.)
    I’m *really* sorry you are faced with doctors that aren’t giving you the time and consideration you absolutely deserve. I just hate that. I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.
    I’m so glad you were able to spend some nice mother/daughter time with your mom–I just wish that it was for a different reason! (and I’m happy she’s excited about you and Dan!!) I don’t have nearly enough outings with my mom. I need to see her more! –Lisa

    • November 18, 2013 / 10:57 am

      Thank you so much, Lisa.
      I hate it too, that doctor and how he doesn’t even bother to address my mother’s concerns. That’s why I feel it’s the right thing to wait and find a better doctor.
      Yeah, I wish the mother-daughter date was at a nicer place instead of a hospital cafeteria but I am thankful for the time we got to spend alone 🙂

  2. November 15, 2013 / 7:40 pm

    I think it’s a good thing that you’re gathering as much information and knowledge as you can about the fibroid. I do hope you find a doctor you’re comfortable with.

    Glad that you spent quality time with your mother!

    • November 18, 2013 / 10:59 am

      Thank you Alison, from my research so far, we are leaning more into having the procedure done in Penang, Malaysia. 🙂 Everything is still in the planning stage at this moment but I have been in communication with a doctor from Adventist Hospital there.

  3. November 15, 2013 / 1:13 pm

    Never – but I'm super glad you got to have a day with your mom. I hope you find a DR that is willing to spend time and not rush you!!!

  4. November 15, 2013 / 1:18 pm

    Loved reading this post so much. You and your mom sound fantastic, and I love that you got time together, even if it is was under those circumstances.-Ashley

  5. November 15, 2013 / 9:38 pm

    I don’t have mother daughter dates often – and even less and less now that I have moved. It’s nice that she is there for you – and concerned about you in a way that only a mother can be. I love that she asked the doc about you and the gym!

    • November 18, 2013 / 11:01 am

      Aww I hope you will get to chance some alone time with your mother, Ilene.
      It was so cute watching how concern she is about my going to the gym part. Bless her heart.

  6. November 16, 2013 / 4:28 am

    I’m sorry you are having to go through this and sorrier that your doctor isn’t patient. I’m glad you had your mom there with you. (and of course exercising helps!) Yeah!

    • November 18, 2013 / 11:02 am

      Thank you Poppy.
      I’m so glad I have my mother next to me too 🙂 She’s been amazing, fretting from love but amazing lol 🙂

  7. November 17, 2013 / 9:26 am

    I spend quite a bit of time with my mother. We usually do stuff with our grandkids. I’m glad that she was there for you through this.

    I so wish that you could come here and work something out with my doctor! Not only did he answer 10 million of my questions patently he anticipated some and was so thorough in explaining everything. If you’re not in a lot of pain and not having a lot of issues, I’d continue to look for a doctor who provides you what you need. You are in my thoughts and prayers Maureen!

    • November 18, 2013 / 11:08 am

      Awww Carla, you’re so sweet!
      Thank you so much. I wish more doctors here really practice out of their calling to care for others instead of seeing their patients as just money making source. It’s really bad here. I’ve talked to a woman who were told by all the doctors that she will not only need a hysterectomy but she will need a vertical cut on her abdomen to take the huge (23cm) fibroid she had. She went to Malaysia and the doctor there were stunned by our local doctors’ suggestion as such surgery is very high risk but also not necessary.
      Anyway, it’s wonderful to be able to research and read more about this online.

      God bless you for your kind words, Carla! Hugs!

  8. November 27, 2013 / 3:42 pm

    I’m so sorry about that doc’s poor bedside manner. It really does make a difference. I wish my mom and I lived closer so that we could spend more time together.

    And I’m sorry about having to deal with the fibroid.

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