Who knew wedding can bring so much aftermath effects? I still owe a blog post about how the big
fat Indonesian wedding of my brother went.
The whole wedding affected even the youngest member of my family…
My sweet sensitive boy.
The Boyfriend Mystery
“Mommy, where’s your boyfriend?” Asked the boy casually one afternoon after the wedding. Lego sprawled on the coffee table, him squatting next to it building something.
“I don’t have a boyfriend, Pumpkin.” I lift my head off of the latest Oxygen magazine to look at this boy.
“Okay…” he continues with his legos and dropped the subject.
I too brushed it off.
Until Sunday morning.
After helping him out of his pajamas on a lazy Sunday morning, the boyfriend question returned! “Mommy, why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
This time the look in his eyes pierced me straight through the heart.
“I just don’t, Baby…” I squeezed the mosquito repellent tube and lather his skinny leg.
“Uncle Egy is married to Auntie Cheli, Daddy has Auntie now. What about you Mommy?” Tears were brewing in his eyes. My boy, my sweet caring child! He shouldn’t be worrying about his mother!
I am at lost for words.
“I will be your boyfriend!” he exclaimed, this time tears flowing and my heart cracked.
“No, you are Mommy’s son…you can’t be my boyfriend but you will always be mommy’s love.”
We hugged…and I told him how much he meant to me.
My heart was heavy all day.
Did I look unhappy? No, I think I’m doing pretty awesome. Yes, I haven’t date in forever but it’s not like I just mope and complaints all day for the lack of love stories in my life.
Work has kept me busy, the wedding, Christmas…
I didn’t even think about it – well not until I cried on my brother’s wedding day – but that’s for another post.
It must be the wedding! Yes, final conclusion.
He saw his uncle got married, he saw another uncle danced with his girlfriend. Mommy? Alone laughing and taking pictures.
I tweeted about that and one of my dearest friends message me right away. We talked about it. She was the light in my cloudy gray dark Sunday!
“Tell him that God is preparing you and him right now…he doesn’t understand it and need your guidance,” she said.
And I wiped my own tears because I didn’t even think of such smart answer like that. The questions, the sadness in my boy’s eyes caught me off guard.
Faith of A Child
That Sunday night before bedtime, after saying his bedtime prayer. I pulled him close in my arms. Gently kissed his curly head.
“You want to know why Mommy doesn’t have a boyfriend right now, Pumpkin?” I asked softly.
“Yes, why Mommy?”
“Because God is preparing him for us. Because God wants us to have the best man to be with Mommy and to love you too.” I let go of him so I could see into his eyes hoping he would understand.
“He will love me too?” his eyebrows raised.
“Of course he will! He will play with you, talk with you and even help you with homework.”
“Okay! Does he have iPad 2?” I raised one eyebrow, with a smile on my face.
“Maybe he will!” And I just laugh at that. His eyes lit up and he quickly sat up.
“I have to ask Jesus!”
Seeing him, hearing him praying wholeheartedly “Jesus, please give Mommy a good boyfriend with iPad 2. Amen!” brought me to tears that I quickly wiped away. Not wanting him to see me cry.
Oh, bless you, my sweet dear boy.
“Thank you, Pumpkin for your prayer. That was really really sweet! Don’t worry about Mommy ok? I’m fine! We are more than fine.” I can’t help but giving him lots of kisses and he laughed in my arms as I sneaked a little bit on his cheek.
Of all my imperfections in being a mother, I must’ve done something right to have such a sweet caring little man in my life. May the good Lord hears and answered his prayers.