Considering the facts that Indonesian people have a tendency to suddenly become an expert when they’ve heard about marital problems or divorce, here I’m compiling things you shouldn’t say to your friend/acquaintances if she happens to be a single mom. Personally, I’ve heard plenty of these lines for over a year now since I came out about my status and sometimes I have to hold my breath, gritted my teeth just so I won’t punch some people in the face. Take it with a grain of salt!
- “Why don’t you give it another try?” – here’s the deal, if she’s brave enough to sport her new status regardless the legal proceedings, do not ask her why can’t she try to fix her marriage. It means she’s way past that stage!
- “You shouldn’t leave your husband!” – you don’t really know what’s going on behind closed doors. If she decided to walk out of whatever situation she’s facing it means she’s strong and brave enough to make a change. Support her don’t stone her!
- “Don’t you feel bad for your child?” – without you sounding them, I betcha she already has guilt but she doesn’t need to hear them echoing from people who don’t know the whole story.
- “You are so brave!” – Single moms sometimes became single parent outside of their own choices, believe me, no married couple would wake up one day and say “Hmmm…being single parent sounds like fun. Maybe I’ll give it a try.” No! Sometimes being brave is the only way to go.
- “I pray that you will someone new again soon.” – Why thank you for the prayer but most newly divorced/single mom will vouch that remarried is the last thing on their mind. Would be better if you pray that she can get rich, so she doesn’t have to worry about her kid’s future especially if the ex is a deadbeat!