“You are so strong…” friends would often say that.
And I sigh because I am not always that strong.
The truth is I am only human.
There are moments where the weight of the world feels just too much to bear and I just want to breathe without feeling suffocating.
There are times where I bawled eyes out behind closed doors
Having to stretch yourself out to make sure your son is feeling loved, the bills are paid, his school lunches are paid off, and to discipline him when it is needed.
Sometimes it take a toll on me.
And I just wanted to cry it out.
So no, I am not always that strong.
This journey hasn’t been easy.
You Are Enough!
There are moments where I feel like I am running on empty. Even with his tremendous support and love, I still have bad days. Days where I just told myself “This too shall pass…”
There are days where exhaustion got the best of me and I barely have the energy to keep up with my son.
“Just roll with the punches and do the best that you can…” sometimes I have to pep talked myself that way when things gets too much to handle. When frustration left me in tears wanting to throw my hands up in the air and shout profanities.
He is trying his best to help out. He spend times talking to my son, listening to his chatter about games, about boy stuffs that I could never relate to. He answers his wondering minds as if he has been doing this fatherhood gig his whole life.
I am grateful for him.
Yet, there are still moments where I doubt myself if I am good enough mother, if I do enough.
And when those doubts creeps in I try to inhale…deep breath…inhale…exhale…
“Yes, you are good enough!”
“Yes, you do your best and that alone is enough!”
“Yes, your son loves you despite all of your shortcomings!”
If you are a single mom, how do you handle your bad days? Share away.