Yes, deeply in love and being deeply and strongly loved tend to have that effects on you.
Yet I told Dan (we decided to just go with his real name here, so readers…meet Dan), I must get my head out of the rainbows and write something that won’t be easy to write. He smiled and as his usual self encourage me to write positively and share with others what may hopefully one day inspire one person – the more the better, hey?
So here you go…are you ready to hear the truth, the honest truth about our story?
We broke up for a week!
Oh yes, we did.
But before that let me tell you, we met online – yes, on a dating website. No, I will not endorse the website by mentioning it here.
It was on the last day of my Birthday month, March 2013 when we first started talking on Skype. No we chatted first, no video cam chat, mind you! That happened the next weekend actually once I was comfortable enough.
We clicked right away, we had much more in commons than we thought possible, things just flows naturally.
The rest was history.
Well not quite!
On June 24, 2013 – I broke it off with him without giving him any chance to explain himself. I was standing up for myself.
My closest friends gathered and cheered me up even got me big chocolate bar to help me got through it while the news travel fast around the office walls. Yeah, I used to be on Skype with him every morning before work! I was depressed for a week. Brokenhearted with puffy swollen eyes for a week but I was so sure I was doing the right thing. I put my foot down, I stand up for myself even when it hurts and I took a break from blogging.
Then a week later, he emailed me and I was righteously being a bitch. Hey, I was pissed! He took it well, patiently waiting for me to forgive him and to give him a second chance. I was reluctant at first…even when I missed him like hell! I had the wall up, I was being quite bitchy, right Dan? He put his own foot down and said until we can both be grown mature adults then we can talk.
So we talked…We cleared things out. My heart ache for him. For the man he really is underneath as I got to see passed his walls.
It wasn’t an easy smooth sailing but we got back together. Looking back, maybe we needed to be broken apart to be rebuild into the best version of our selves? It took breaking up to change things around. He and I learned some precious lessons. Our relationship now is actually in a greater place compare to where we started off so I am thankful for our breakup.
Yet, I kept our relationship a secret from most of my friends. I thought, until I can show everyone he is the real deal then I better keep him to myself. It was so hard to kept it a secret!
When he invited me over to come and see him, I only told my parents. Actually, my mother was the one who told me I should give him another chance, that it might just be a misunderstanding. Bless your kind and wise heart, Mama! I’m so glad I followed your advice. My parents were supportive and never doubt my decisions.
It wasn’t until the last minutes that I told my friends that I’m going to Australia to meet the man I fell in love with. Their reaction wasn’t like what I fear, some of them were excited, some weren’t exactly jumping with joys yet they were being supportive.
Then it hits me, people that love me will always love me no matter what I decide. It is me who needs to honor my own voice, my own decisions.
And by respecting my own self, I learn that sometimes you don’t need other people’s approval. Do what feels right within your heart!
To give Dan a second chance…
To give us another shot…
To allow him to show me what love truly is…
To trust my heart that I am doing the right thing even when other people might find it stupid…
Do I have any regrets?
None, nada, zilch! I regret nothing. I don’t regret flying all the way to his hometown to meet him. To witness him in his environment, to meet his lovely parents. To see how sweetly he treated little kids around us, that’s the real him. Not “Oh, lemme-try-to-impress-my-girlfriend” attitude. I can see and feel it deeply in my soul how genuine he is. No regrets, not even when I squirm with a burning face when his wonderful Mum teased us about having more grandson and he held my hand tighter under the table.
Realizing how my heart has been right from the beginning, to let our love blossoms…I regret nothing. People may call me crazy to fly to another country to meet someone I met on the internet but I now believe I made the right decisions.
Trust your heart!
Listen to your inner voice.
Sometimes a second chance is worth taking and in my story, was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Mine told me he is the one that put my heart at ease. My soul finally met it’s match.