This is week 3 at Kludgy Mom’s Back To School Back To Blogging – in my defense I jumped in the wagon at week 2.
With how things are in my life, I am forced to rearranged pretty much everything. From my struggle to find a job down to this blog. Yes, like it or not this blog will have to change as well.
It all started as a blog about a mix-marriage couple living back in Jakarta…
Now it would be all about Lil’ A and me and this new path of single motherhood and all its glory.
When I first opened up about going through a divorce here, it was one of the hardest thing I had to published here. I wrote, edited, edited, edited, wrote some more, I cried, I triple questions my decision.
Taking that 3 weeks break from blogging, I had abandoned this blog and my ranks plummeted, my bounce rate went up but at the time I didn’t really care. Now that I am back, I realized I need to pour my heart and soul back to this baby again. Getting myself back into that rhythm again of blogging, networking, commenting will takes some times.
Honestly, I feel like I had lost my mojo in blogging after taking that break.
As much as writing & blogging has been therapeutic to me, I still find myself not investing as much time as I used to. Maybe it’s psychological, I’m not sure – I have stop seeing my counselor months ago. Realizing I had fell off the wagon of happy-family-blogger may also got something to do with it. Been mulling about this as to why I don’t have the energy to do all the networking I need.
Prior to ‘coming out’, this blog has been my baby…my distractions from the pain…it made the days goes by quicker than if I just sit at my parents house doing close to nothing. The hope to fix my marriage was still there.
Now that it is obvious that’s not going to happen I know my blog needs a whole new directions. Yes, I would still blog about being a mother to a toddler who will soon starts school, about living in Jakarta which now will be permanently, about any future travels. Yet realizing that I had fell into that single mom bloggers will take sometimes to sink in.
There is nothing wrong with single mom bloggers…actually, I need to start finding more of them and networking. They’ve been in my shoes before so their wisdom might help me through.
My focus for
Tatter Scoops Scoops of Joy had changed.
photo credit:Simon Peckham
For now, I write about the pain, the grieving, the letting go, the sadness to help me cope with it. Your comments has been giving me strength and for that alone I will be forever thankful. Long term wisely, I hope this blog will help other women especially Indonesians who is in the same situation.
Just so you know, although in big cities like Jakarta where divorce rates has been on the spike, most Indonesians still have this negative stigma about it. Whether they admit it or not. There will always be judgment. There’s negative image to carry the tittle as ‘divorcee’. There will be gossips and talks about how ‘she failed to keep her husband’ or ‘why did she give up so easily?’ that kinds of talks. Maybe that’s why I haven’t find that many – if there is any – Indonesian single mom blogs so I guess that niche would fit me perfectly now.
I’m sure there will be highs and lows throughout this journey and I will be using this blog to share it with the world then maybe someday I could read back and see how much I have grow as a person, as a woman, as a mother.
Have you ever feel like you has lost your mojo? Any ideas on how to get them back?