In my nearly 5 years of being a mother to little dude, a lot has changed. A lot has influenced me in this whole journey of motherhood.
From facing motherhood ‘unexpectedly’ by having my son 5 weeks earlier than expected – thanks to my severe preeclampsia, from dealing with undiagnosed post-partum depression, from moving to China temporarily before moving permanently back to my home country of Indonesia, from the demise of my marriage, from practicing co-parenting…
So much has happened.
My way of motherhood has clearly become one that’s not very mainstream like, loaded with influences from two cultures.
Scoops from two cultures, one heart
That’s my tag line. Two cultures because the influences from my Indonesian – Southeast Asian background and you got the Western parts as my son is born out of two emerged cultures. One heart, because despite the differences the source is one…this little boy who is not so little anymore.
Looking back, frictions of having my own beliefs when it comes to parenting/motherhood and that of my cultural upbringing were not as bad as I feared. Of course it was slightly overwhelming at first, just like when my mother suggested that I strapped my post-emergency-c-section-tummy with a girdle or put a coin on my new baby’s belly button to prevent him from being an outie – which by the way I refused to practice and his belly button looks normal now.
Now that I had readjusted myself to be living back here permanently, I am more in-tune with whatever works for us – this little boy and his mommy – instead of what is demanded by society.
Easier to say than done…I’d like to think it developed over times and will continues to do so as I travel this journey of motherhood longer.
When I first brought my son home to Indonesia, he was about 10 months old. I hated the way strangers would come and pinch his cheeks or hold his baby fat covered hands. Maybe because back in Alabama people just doesn’t do that, but overtime I came to understand that these are just the admiration gestures my own people have. A gesture that has been going on for decades if not million of years ago. I even blogged awhile back about this very topic of please don’t touch my baby!
Now that I’m a single mom who is learning to master the art of practice co-parenting, there are still miles of challenges up ahead. Be it from my inner self and also from society who sadly still have huge doubts about co-parenting, some people here even still looks down on single moms.
It may looks like I have plenty of internal wars within me from trying to combine and maintain a balance of two cultures in raising my son but in the end what matters is that one heart…that is growing outside my body.
Our two cultures maybe quite colorful but if we take the goods out of both worlds our lives will be rich and this boy will grow up with pride of having the best of both worlds. And that is one of my motherhood purpose…
This month World Moms Blog is celebrating their 1 year blogiversary and I am linking up with them and many other great bloggers from across the globe. Come check it out and travel the world of motherhood.