My dear dear boy,
Watching you sleep oh so peacefully tonight makes me heart swollen with a love that is bigger than anything I ever known.
I slowly touched your open hand and you clasp my finger tightly as tight as you hold my heart.
Your hair is getting longer and the curls starts to show up again. No matter how unruly they get and how much you hate when Mommy force you to brush those locks, I miss seeing their almost Sherly Temple lookalike curls.
Those legs no longer pack the once yummylicious baby lumps. They are now long, lean and skinny.
Your cheeks have no more chubbiness yet I can still bite on them playfully and kiss them a million times.
The way you say your “Night Night Prayer” out of memory always make me feel so grateful for this greatest gift in my life.
Your cheekiness always warms even the crappiest day of this mother’s day. “Clown of the classroom” is what your teachers told me. The classroom is too quiet without you they said.
Amazing how smart you really are behind all your goofing around – that sometimes frustrate me when we’re doing your homework. I’m biased of course and allowed to be since I am your mother! You’d surprise me by reading “Ben” on TV while I sat there next to you trying so hard to make you read the 3 letters practice book from school.
Your abrupt out of nowhere “Aku sayang Mommy!” (I love Mommy) managed to wipe my tiredness away after a crazy day at the office.
The never ending curiosity you shows daily. From asking what a word means in English or in Indonesian to asking why an engine failed when we watch Air Crash Investigation show on NatGeo – to which I asked you to save that question for Daddy when you’re with him.
I know your questioning will only get longer as you get older and can I freak out now?
Oh what about the way you ‘attack’ Mommy because you want to play roughhousing or just want to tickle me then planted a big giant kiss? No matter how badly my bones are cracking I.love.it!
The concerned look on your face when I tell you Mommy’s not going to work followed by “Will your boss be angry, Mommy?” makes me want to squeeze you tightly so you don’t have to worry too much.
Behind your cheerful happy go lucky self I know there’s an old soul hidden. A soul that is very sensitive. How I wish I could take back that one time right after your Opa (Grandpa) just got home from the hospital and you were just trying to see him closely but your tired Mommy snapped at you panicking you would bump into his bandaged foot. To see you sat there on the stairs with tears silently running down your face broke my heart. You cried in Mommy’s arms and said “Nggak mau Opanya sakit!” (I don’t want Grandpa to be sick). Oh baby….I’m so sorry.
Your stubbornness is quite scary as I see so much of myself in you when that side appears. Sometimes with raised eyebrows I’d asked you “Whose child is this, anyway?” and behind your little smirk you’d say “Anak Mommy!” (Mommy’s child).
I’m still amazed by how you laid out your own rules when it comes to the languages you speak. When you’re home with everyone else you demanded to only speak in Indonesian including to me but when we’re upstairs ready for bed you’d whisper “Mommy, when we’re in our room then we can talk in English.”
Yes, there are moments where you just drive your mother crazy but I think all mother feels that way, right?
Watching you growing up to be a little person that you are today never cease to amaze me. Thank you for showing your Mommy what true love really is all about. Thank you for teaching me to relax and let loose and be silly, to live in the moment to stop worrying too much and just have faith.
I have so many wishes for you my son, it’s wrapped in prayers and being lifted to heaven.
Happy Birthday Alexander. Mommy love you to the moon and back!