My whole heart feels like it is about to burst from so much joy and happiness.
Single Moms Indonesia TV Coverage
Tears of happiness did fell when I watched the final videos of my interview and our Single Moms Indonesia coverage on Jawa Pos TV.
Remember I told you that one of the local TV stations here did coverage for us? The show Untuk Perempuan aired last Saturday morning but due to an event, I couldn’t watch it on TV. So I waited anxiously for them to upload the videos on YouTube.
Their videos went up yesterday and the floodgate flung open.
They did such a great exposure for us. Thank you, Jawa Pos TV.
This is my second time talking on TV about our support group that started 2 years ago and still I get goose bumps watching the videos.
Why I got all emotional? Simple, because when I first started writing about my own experience going through divorce, sharing my heartache here on this blog, documenting the challenges and the glories of being a single mom then followed by the calling to created the Single Moms Indonesia, I have never imagined that it would be lead me to where I am today.
Because the interview was done in Indonesian, let me share some of the key important points below.
How Did I Explain Divorce to My Son?
My almost 10 years old son now understand the concept that his parents are divorced since I have explained it early on since he was 3 years old using simple language.
With times, as he grows older his questions become more specific, more detailed. Just a few months ago he asked me why I got divorced and I answered him that sometimes two people got married then they realized they are not right for each other. I emphasize on how happy I am today and how his father is very happy with the new life he has too. Putting the spotlight on the positive sides help him cope. When he knows that he is loved and secured hopefully it will help him as he grows.
One thing that I shared with the members of SMI is to never talk negatively about their exes to the children. Please, do not let the children get caught in the middle. They love their parents and that’s that.
Why did I start Single Moms Indonesia?
It was from these feelings inside me to have a safe place where we, single moms can come together. Sharing our journeys, gaining support from each other. A support group for us here in Indonesia.
When life brought me into this world of being a single mom, I had no one to talk to. Going through a divorce was very difficult when none of your close peers are divorced or has been through similar situations. I never felt more alone at the time. The only support group I was able to find was all based outside of the country. I was desperate for someone to tell me “It will all be alright. It is not the end of the world.” Or a little pat on the back that says “You are not alone.”
That longing finally turned into a real support group on Facebook two years ago. Yes, we are still in our infancy stage and we are still learning, growing as a group.
What is Single Moms Indonesia Mission?
To empower single mothers in Indonesia and their children by providing hope, support, and resources so families can become self-sustaining and thrive. To slowly erase the negative stigma surrounding the word single moms. We are here to empower single moms that they can move past those early grieving stage post divorce or separation.
What Does Single Moms in Indonesia Need?
Support! That’s very important.
Fewer judgments from society will definitely help us. In a patriarchy country such as Indonesia, we are still facing discrimination and often being made into jokes about our status.
We are strong women, we juggle a lot of things yet we often times faced discrimination from the fact that we choose to be a single mother – sometimes we do not have options – like those who became a widow. The only option we have is to move forward and to do what is best for our children.
What Are The Tips for Single Moms?
To be able to functions fully as a single mother, I always encourage our members to do self-healing first and foremost. They need to do a lot of internal works first before they could function well. Divorce is a traumatic experience and we must move past the trauma. The pain. The heartache.
No one ever got married thinking it will end up in divorce.
Sometimes the pain is so deep that the mother’s loose sight that their children are watching, sensing, feeling their mothers grieve and in their little mind they do not know how to process this. Then the children started acting up. They too suffer from divorce greatly. They too feel confused and lost.
When the mother can reach a place within her where she finds peace and acceptance then she can fully help her children, guiding them to sail through the rough patches in life.
Acceptance is key. From there we can rebuild our lives and thrives. Accept the fact that the marriage ended and focus on solutions. If they can co-parenting then even better!
Onwards and forwards, ladies! We got this!