Single Moms Indonesia on Jawa Pos TV

Third TV interview for Single Moms Indonesia, still the nerves were all over the place! And because the shooting took place at night, after a long day and pretty much fueled on coffee, I feel like it would make a great blog post to write more about what I was asked and elaborate on my answers. The discussion also involved a child psychologist Rolla Apnoza.

Single Moms Indonesia on Jawa Pos TV

Single Moms Indonesia on Jawa Pos TV

Interviewer: “How long have you been a single parent?

Me: “Since 2010

Interviewer: “What made you decide to be a single parent?

Me: “When I realized the marriage couldn’t work anymore. I never seek out to be a single parent but circumstances lead me to this path.

Interviewer: “When you first became a single parent, what did you imagined it would be like?

Me: “At the beginning, I was scared – which is completely normal. I had fears if I could take on the role as a single mother in a country where divorce is still highly considered a negative thing.

Interviewer: “What prepared you to become a single parent?

Me: “Honestly, I don’t think anyone is really prepared to become one. For me, when I had accepted the fact that divorce is something that must be done then I had to prepare myself. Knowing that there’s a child or children involved, you do need to prepare to take on this journey but the single parents just roll with the punches and do their best in whatever circumstances we are facing.”

Interviewer: “How do you explain what happened to your child?

Me: “By using simple and easy to understand language, I explained to my son that his parents decided to go their own separate ways and that doesn’t mean we don’t love him anymore. I choose not to lie to my son but also not to explain in full details what actually causing the divorce. I heavily emphasized on the positive side of the positive notes that his parents’ divorce created two family homes that love him greatly.”

Interviewer: “What kind of obstacles you feel as a single parent?

Me: “I think that as a single parent, we tend to must work harder in a lot of different ways compare to when you have a husband. Time management and others become more precious because you have to do it on your own. You cannot share the responsibility with your husband.”

Interviewer: “Maureen, as a single working mother, how do you manage the role as the single provider and being a mother?

Me: “You just can’t have it all! That’s what I would say. That elusive work-life balance is a unicorn. Some days you feel like you could do it all, some days you just have to get back and hoping tomorrow will be better. All in all, I try to do both with a happy heart and not making it as a burden because it is not. It may not be easy but this is our lives and I am grateful for everything that we have, for every tear, every struggle and every victory. I strongly believe that if you just do it with a grateful heart, with genuine intentions then God, the Universe will always have your back. Yes, of course as a mother you have bad days but that’s a normal part of motherhood.”

SMI Jawa Pos TV Interview

Interviewer: “How do you share the parental role between mother and father?

Me: “At the moment I am co-parenting with my ex-husband. We have shared custody of our son and I am the primary caretaker. I am one of the lucky few because my ex-husband still supports our son’s education.

Interviewer: “What is it like to be a mother and a father?

Me: “You just do your best. I believe having a support system can completely make a difference in a single mom‘s life. A single mom really needs support, we just can’t do everything on our own. Having the family support can also greatly improve the quality of life of a single mom and their children.”

Interviewer: “You started the single mother community, Single Moms Indonesia. Tell us more about your community?

Me: “Our community is a support group who welcome any Indonesian single mothers no matter what their backgrounds and stories were. In the community, members feel safe to share their experiences, struggles, and heartache without the fear of being judged. For me, it is important to provide a safe haven where we all could learn and be inspired from one another.

Interviewer: “What does having this community means to you personally?

Me: “It’s been an amazing experience so far. To be able to help our members and letting them know that they are not alone, that someone care and that we support each other has completely changed my life. I feel so blessed to be able to witness their stories who sometimes feels surreal, see them patching their life up and watch them soar as a new stronger woman give me the best feelings ever. It is hard to describe but I feel so privileged to be among these amazing inspiring women and to see them giving back, helping other members? It’s such a humbling experience.”

Interviewer: “What can a single parent do to live a normal happy life?

Me: “Single parent should and need to manage their time well, having a healthy relationship with the father of their children if possible even when there are differences among them, financially single parents need to be smart too, be open to accepting help from others and realizing we cannot do everything on our own. Find a way to maintain your peace of mind is also very important, don’t forget to make yourself happy and also a priority. Single moms can absolutely live a happy life because happiness comes from within.”

You could see the full interview on the video below but it was done in my native language, Indonesian.

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