This post is inspired by Chopper Papa. So thanks, Kyle!
On his video of He Says, She Says series – Dating on Purpose (and why you date losers) , they’re talking about the list, of the “Must Haves” and the “Must Never Haves” when it comes to dating.
It really strikes a chord with me, as I
secretly created one a couple of weeks ago.
What made me write down with a book and an actual pen?
Not quite sure why really…I just knew I had to write them down.
I’m at a point in my life where casually dating just doesn’t cut it anymore. After my relationship with Mystery Man ended, I realized I wanted more out of a relationship. The end of that 6 months relationship made me realized that. Yes, it was short lived but it opened up my heart, my consciousness.
Maybe that’s what drove me to write a really clear list of what I want from a man.
Funny enough, before I got married, I never have an actual list.
Kyle’s video pointed some really true things and one of them is about how one must make peace with one’s self first and foremost before they can make a real list of the man/woman’s personalities that they want.
Before I met Mystery Man, that’s what I thought I did…I did a lot of soul-searching. Hang my dating shoes, literally.
Took a break because the whole casual dating thing started to wear me out. Then I met him. I fell in love. Things happened. We broke up. Life goes on.
After that broke up, I did try to dip my toes back into the dating pool again.
It didn’t go very well. Seriously, it’s a jungle out there.
So for the second time, I hang my dating shoes.
Instead of focusing so much on finding love again, I focus on me. I do things that I love, I’m busy working. Despite the occasional loneliness, I am perfectly fine being alone instead of going through countless of different men who really didn’t meet my “Must Haves” list.
Being that I am working from home, I really didn’t get to go out a whole lot to meet people. Even my best friend said, “Where can you meet a good guy?” I laughed and said “My questions exactly!” but she knows that I’m not out on a hunt. That I had passed those crazy times and I wanted something more. I’m ready to settle down.
Other than our occasional night outs, I just don’t go out much and even those are so not the right times to meet potential guys. We went out, we always had great times and that’s it. Plus, I think I’m old enough to know that you really can’t take guys you meet on these kinds of night outs too seriously.
My dating life is pretty much non-existent right now and surprisingly, I am perfectly fine with that. Call it a dry spell, I don’t mind it at all.
After several weird dates, I think I am happily hanging my dating shoes again. Mentally, that is better than to settle for less just to have someone beside me. Finding my own happiness is a journey and I did found them yet the journey continues.
For now, life is grand…I’m enjoying my alone time doing things that I love and stop looking.
Maybe one day, the right guy will come along and he will find me.
Do you have your own “Must Haves” and “Must Never Haves” list when it comes to dating?