Being a single mom and trying to figure out how in the world am I ever gonna date again is definitely not an easy walk in the park. Thanks God for the blogsphere and twitter that connect me with so many other great single moms out there whose not only been giving me a lot of supports and inspirations but a chance to share their stories, their thoughts through Guest Posting.
Meet Jessica, gorgeous multi-talented (she’s a singer!) and witty single mom of two beautiful children. She blog over at Single Motherhood Bliss and we ‘met’ through Twitter when I tweeted about looking for Guest Bloggers for Tatter Scoops. Please give her a warm welcome and follow her on Twitter and check out her blog. Psst…for all men out there, you guys should read her post An Open Letter To All Men.
So I’ve been sitting on this blog post for a while, wondering what’s too personal to say on a blog and how exactly do I get this out.
And then the opportunity to do a guest post for Maureen arose and I stupidly volunteered to write a post on relationships and dating as a single mom. Big mistake.
See, here’s the thing: You would think that, as in most fields, more experience would equate to higher knowledge of the subject. But let me assure you, it does not. I find that the more I date (or marry, as the case may be) and fail, the LESS I know about marriage and dating. And truthfully, the ONLY thing that I know about dating as a single mom is that I really, REALLY don’t have a clue.
As I am currently exiting my most recent failed relationship (yes, it’s over and I haven’t even announced it on MY blog yet) I’ve found myself to be completely and utterly reeling. The more I think, “this is the one” and the more it turns out not to be, the more I doubt myself when the next “one” comes along.
But alas, I digress. This really isn’t about MY relationships as much as it is about relationships as a single mom. And the more I try and write some “all knowing” post about the subject and hope for the type of response I got when I wrote about what women want, the more I realize it just simply isn’t possible!
So, instead of making some pathetic attempt at telling you how to date as a single mom, I’m going to ask you: How in the HELL do you date as a single mom??
How do you make a “fake” family feel like a real one? When and how do you ease your boyfriend into the scene and what if you do it too soon? I did it too soon and my break up left my children upset and wondering why he left and when will they get a “real dad”…
How do you protect your kids from the potential disaster that ANY relationship can turn into? What it, God forbid, I turn in to “that” mom who’s bedroom door is a revolving door for men? (Not likely, but still!)
When you look at it, this single motherhood stuff is relatively new. 60 or so years ago you didn’t dare leave your husband and if you did, how did you support yourself?
But now we do. Now we do it all and we deal with new relationships and, even harder, we deal with break ups and divorce. And we do it all while raising children. That’s no easy feat!
Getting through whatever situation left us single parents is hard enough. Jumping back into dating? And worse, breaking up again? That’s rough stuff. And if you happen to figure out the magic formula to it all, bottle it and sell it, because I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels rather clueless.
So I may not have the answers to dating as a single mom and I’m sure I probably know less about it today than I did yesterday; but one thing I do know for sure is that some how or another we do it. We get through it and we do our best. We try and we fail and we pick ourselves back up again. And maybe, just maybe, someday we’ll get it right.