Message To My Girlfriends

Girls, while 2012 is still fresh let’s talk about some stuffs, OK?

It’s time to do some detox in your relationships and what’s not…Mind you I’m no relationship guru and I’m still learning but I think I can tell you these stuffs from past mistakes:

  1. If a guy said “I want to keep seeing you just for sex because you’re the best sex I ever had” it just means that’s the only thing he’s after. Don’t ever fall for it even if you WERE a couple before. You deserve so much more respect than that. You are obviously nothing but a sex object for him and by lying to yourself hoping he’d turn around and love you is giving him more power.  And you will begin to lose yourself one piece at a time. Please man up and show these kinds of jackass the door – or the window to take a hike ASAP.
  2. There are times where you need to wear your big girl’s panties and be a bitch. Yes! Sometimes you need to take things into your own hands and put a stop to end a toxic relationship. How come your suppose-to-be-ex-boyfriend-who-is-a-total-a’hole keep coming back to bug you? Because they know your cards. They know how to play your feelings. A few sweet words and you fall right back into their traps! Time to hit the break hard and take drastic measures to end the cycle. If not you will forever be hurt and true love doesn’t cause you this much pain. It’s not easy but sometimes it’s better to hurt now than years later with several kids by your feet.
  3. You can’t change your man! If you think “Maybe if I’d give in, he will love me…he will leave his current girlfriend.” Newsflash, ladies…no he will not! Some guys are just meant to be players who wants to have their cake and eat it too. Sometimes you will have to do the hardest thing, to cut away, to break free and accept that you cannot change him. You can however change the way you react to him. You can’t put your own life on hold hoping he’ll change. Be your own change.
  4. Love yourself! This might very well be the hardest thing to do but it’s a must. In a world that worships physical beauties it’s so easy to feel ugly isn’t? Oh we’re too fat, we wish we have bigger boobs…and the lament goes on. But if you love yourself enough, you will have the power to recognize guys who’s in it just for the sexual joyride from a real guy who will treat you the way you should be treated which is with respect and love. Not like just a piece of meat to satisfy their sexual appetite. Start by making a list of what you love about yourself – which I will be doing sometimes this week and work from there. Accept your flaws as what makes you unique, what makes you the beautiful person that you are.
  5. Go with your gut feelings. If it doesn’t feel right chances are you will have some sort of feelings. An indication that something is wrong. Sadly, for us girls we tend to blinded ourselves hoping that things will eventually get better. “Oh, maybe he’d snapped out of it.” Or “Maybe he would stop cheating on me.” Well, girls…sometimes these guys do change but they are most likely will not. Hit the break now before it’s too late and before there are children involves.

Again, I too still struggle with these sometimes, especially No. 4. To love myself…that’s actually my secret goal for 2012. To fall in love with myself and to celebrate me.

Do you have other messages to add for your fellow girlfriends who are still single?



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8 Comments on Message To My Girlfriends

  1. Caity
    January 3, 2012 at 1:52 pm (5 years ago)

    I think loving yourself and going with your gut feelings are the two most important things to remember. Nice advice.
    Caity recently posted..Project 366My Profile

  2. Jewel Crow
    January 3, 2012 at 5:14 pm (5 years ago)

    Agree with Caity above – No. 4 – Love Yourself – is the best and most important advice there is.

  3. dian
    January 3, 2012 at 7:48 pm (5 years ago)

    6. don’t be afraid to be single. it’s not the end of the world. it’s in fact liberating, letting you roam free, actualize yourself, fulfilling things in your bucket list, try new things – thinkable or unthinkable, etc etc.

  4. April
    January 4, 2012 at 1:39 am (5 years ago)

    I wholeheartedly agree with dian’s #6. I haven’t dated in years now, and I don’t miss it. Sure, I flirt on occasion or enjoy a harmless crush, but I no longer let such things take over my life. With the girls, my friends, my work, my family, I still long for time by myself! I’m single at heart, and am much happier for realizing and accepting that.
    April recently posted..And the First Post of 2012My Profile

  5. Bicultural Mama
    January 4, 2012 at 2:47 am (5 years ago)

    Great advice! After a particularly bad breakup that came out of the blue, I decided to have “Me Time” (equivalent to your #4). I just stepped away from trying to date and spent time on the things I wanted to do to develop myself. I didn’t worry about guys. Eventually one came along, and I think it was because by that time I had gained my confidence back since I had worked on myself first.
    Bicultural Mama recently posted..Bicultural Mama Thanks You and Reveals Top 5 Posts of 2011My Profile

  6. Sherri @ Woman's Best Friend
    January 4, 2012 at 4:25 am (5 years ago)

    This is a great list and an overall great post! I love Dian’s and April’s additional advice as well. I desire a great relationship, indeed I do, but until the universe delivers one I will express gratitude for and enjoy what currently is. And I may not shave my legs at all this winter as long as I’m single! Kidding. Sort of.

    Happy New Year!
    Sherri @ Woman’s Best Friend recently posted..You’ve Got Mail! From an Online Dating SiteMy Profile

  7. Nami
    January 5, 2012 at 1:43 am (5 years ago)

    My vote’s for #02 and should I say, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. It’s the 10 year itch bitch. Enough is enough – get that fat ass off the couch and do something, Mister! I like to think that was what Demi Moore finally said. Seriously, this is the Word!
    Nami recently posted..Japanese Over The Top Pop MusicMy Profile


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