Love Letter to Myself

Happy Birthday Me

Dear Maureen,

You are 36 years old today! Yay! Happy Birthday to you!!! Let’s celebrate you for a moment. The real you. The woman that you were, the woman you are today and the woman you will be in the future.

I know you were feeling somewhat sad when you realized February was coming to an end. You dreaded your own special day!

Why?

I know why, because you grew up thinking you would be swept away by your knight in shinning armor and rode off into the sunset. Happily ever after you imagined?

Because most of your friends are settling into their lives with their own families.

Because you thought you suppose to be Mrs. Somebody soon, instead you both agreed to go your own separate ways.

Because you are happier in a relationship than being alone.

Because 36 feels like an inch too close to 40 and you feel old!

Well dear Maureen…

Take my hand for awhile and let’s journey back to see where you have been shall we?

You were born today, March 2 at 10 AM. First born and the only girl. Your childhood seemed happy and normal from the outside. Yet something horribly evil broke that little girl inside you. You didn’t know…no one knows until last year.

You turned headstrong, independent, guarded inside despite an outer shell of being extrovert. You were really an introvert. You love your alone times.

Not understanding why, you hated yourself. Your body. You find it so hard to be gentle to yourself. You picked up emotional eating as a coping mechanism. You have many friends yet no one really fully know you let alone understand the tormented soul inside you.

You projected it to the outside world and in came the wrong men into your life. The men that treated you so shitty. Yet you wondered why. You felt lost.

Then you settled, still looking through that rose tinted glasses of yours…you fooled yourself believing marriage will make you happy. So you jumped at the chance. Moved half way across the globe to be then slapped by a rude reality wake up call.

You learned a marriage cannot fulfill that emptiness deep in your soul.

You moved on…now the divorce seems like the best thing that ever happened to you. Even when it was hell.

You cracked open your heart.

You started learning about yourself…about life…about love.

You started learning to be gentle with you, the beautiful soul Maureen. And you actually love Maureen…scars and all.

You just realized you have more gray hair than you can remember…but instead of panicking you smiled and actually thinks those grays are adding more characters to your style. Wisdom streaks you called them…hoping you do have more wisdom than your 20s self. You are more comfortable in your skin – yes you still want to be fit and there’s time for that but you are embracing your body now more than ever. You are finally settling comfortably into your own skin. 

Yes, you are in mid 30s…but you are far from being old!!! You are just getting started! Who wants to go back being 20s and not knowing as much you do now about everything?! I wouldn’t! Life begins at 40 they say and you are looking pretty darn good so far!

You have a handsome young boy who adores you.

You have your passions to pursue in life.

You have your family that loves you no matter what!

You have soul sisters friends who support you with their strong selves.

You have found your true love and yes the timing wasn’t right yet you’ve met him…he exist and he has taught you oh so much. You still love him with every ounce of your being and that too is OK! That is great! You know what deep love feels like and you learned to let it go. Like they say, if it comes back to you then it is meant to be.

But this year is your year! Go ahead put Maureen first! Be selfish…be free! Be unapologetically you!

Now you know better…you can do better. You know what you want. What you need. What you tolerate and what not.

Take my hand and let’s journey on in the sunlight of your soul. Let us find the peace that is sprouting from the soil of your heart and nurse them with lots of love and tenderness.

Stand tall my dear…you are strong, beautiful, gorgeous, caring, talented and one of a kind! There is no one else like you in this world.

Love yourself more every day. And everything else will falls into place.

Happy birthday, darling girl!

Comments

comments

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9 Comments on Love Letter to Myself

  1. Saundra Rohn
    March 2, 2015 at 7:46 pm (3 years ago)

    Happy Birthday dear daughter❤️ I love you ,

    Reply
    • Maureen
      March 3, 2015 at 4:22 pm (3 years ago)

      Love you too Mom. Thank you 🙂

      Reply
  2. Fauziah Afny Nusaly
    March 2, 2015 at 7:51 pm (3 years ago)

    So adorable talent !!!

    Suka banget tulisan kk …

    Reply
    • Maureen
      March 3, 2015 at 4:22 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you Cici 🙂

      Reply
  3. ohdearria
    March 2, 2015 at 7:55 pm (3 years ago)

    Happy birthday, darling!

    Reply
    • Maureen
      March 3, 2015 at 4:24 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you, sweet lady!

      Reply
  4. Rina
    March 3, 2015 at 7:34 am (3 years ago)

    we have a lot of things in common dear… A looot! Haha people see me as an extrovert but actually inside I am a true introvert. What a beautiful letter. Happy birthday to you once again. XOXO
    Rina recently posted..A Refreshing DayMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Debra@DailyStyleNotes
    March 3, 2015 at 7:43 am (3 years ago)

    Happy Birthday! And what a wonderful gift your gave yourself. I hope you had a beautiful day. Don’t fear aging, it’s a gift and a blessing.
    Debra@DailyStyleNotes recently posted..Leslie Sansone 5k With A TwistMy Profile

    Reply

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