Keep on Bleeding

“I wanna scream ’til the words dry out

So put it in all of the papers,

I’m not afraid

They can read all about it

Read all about it” – Read All About It, Pt.III – Emeli Sande 

 

And you bleed

So I keep on writing, writing like a mad woman nonetheless.

Lately I even started to feel like the reasons I come to work daily is just so I could write.

My words, they are raw they might give an editor a big huge headache one day but I don’t care right now.

I am bleeding…

These words needs to come out of me, transferred into strings of sentences that bears stories, the truth even when it hurts.

For me to connect words together I must revisit those moments in times, to face it one more time and extract the story out. And it wasn’t an easy walk down memory lanes. Rummaging through my mind and heart’s memory boxes after boxes can be really draining.

You can see me quietly dabbed my eyes with tissues wishing no one pays me any attention when that visit to the past became unbearably too painful.

Cry if you must to, darling.” He would lift my spirit up when I feel like throwing my hands in the air and just quit. I could come up with so many reasons why I should stop.

Yet I didn’t give up even when sometimes I wanted to.  I choose to go on. I need to write…I must write them out.

I wonder if I could possibly detach myself and just write away…but truth is I can’t. It’s the feelings, the emotions that bring out the words. To me they go hands in hands.

The pain came from looking at myself in well, the old me. How broken I was. It pained me so much I cried for her. For my old self. She didn’t know any better. She was so broken deep inside.

So I let my heart continue to bleed out these words…

One day I will stand tall and proud with these words in my hand and say “This came from the heart. From tears and pain.”

Until then I shall keep on writing.

How do you keep on writing?

PS: My first ever giveaway is still open. Have you join yet?

Big shoutout of thank you to the ever so awesome Alison from Writing, Wishing because her last post inspired this one!

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9 Comments on Keep on Bleeding

  1. Alison
    July 3, 2013 at 6:26 pm (1 year ago)

    Oh hon. You know this resonates with me.
    There is much I can’t write about. Yet. Because it’s too much. Too much of everything. I’m afraid to touch it, as if it’s glass and I might break it.
    I’m glad you’re bleeding it all out. Feels good, yes? :)
    Happy to have inspired you to write this!
    Alison recently posted..Finding My Way Back To MyselfMy Profile

    Reply
    • Maureen
      July 6, 2013 at 10:25 am (1 year ago)

      Alison, thank you so much! So happy to know you understand.
      Yes, it does feels good especially when I read back to what I wrote. Hard yes but the satisfaction was amazing.
      You are a rock star! Thank you for the never ending inspiration :)

      Reply
    • Maureen
      July 6, 2013 at 10:27 am (1 year ago)

      Thank you, my friend!
      Much love to you :)

      Reply
    • Maureen
      July 6, 2013 at 10:31 am (1 year ago)

      It’s always been therapeutic to write things down.
      Thank you Maria.

      Reply
  2. April
    July 6, 2013 at 4:32 am (1 year ago)

    It is very hard. I find it to be therapy, but I have a hard time writing about times I would rather forget. But then that “time” is what has made me strong. There is always someone who can learn, appreciate, and sympathize with us.

    Reply
    • Maureen
      July 6, 2013 at 10:39 am (1 year ago)

      Thank you, April. So true, I too feels that way that those ‘times’ that my heart find it so hard to look back into are just what brought me here today, stronger and braver but shining a light to those dark times can really be therapeutic and I sure hope it will help, inspired or at least relate to someone.

      Reply
  3. Andrea
    July 12, 2013 at 10:53 pm (1 year ago)

    Keep writing. You are so truthful and able to project your heart into your writing so that every person can understand what you are feeling. Hugs to you!
    Andrea recently posted..Right NowMy Profile

    Reply

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