I Am My Parents’ Daughter

Creative Commons Licensephoto credit: christine zenino

Come home…

His voice trembled. Pain, like sharp little broken glass under my bare feet crept in. Closed my eyes as I fought back the tears.

Don’t worry…come home…” he went on, there was a cracked in his voice as he told me he loves me and my son.

That was nearly two years ago as I went back to our apartment to picked up my stuffs and that man on the other line was my father trying to give me strength all the way from Africa.

Since that day I have been home under my parents’ wings once again. Their love engulfs me like angel’s wings during my darkest times. They are my pillars.

Yes, there were frictions when it all first started. My mother said something that felt like a punch to my face. I know she never meant to hurt me but I was in a state where it was too painful to hear “You shouldn’t trust him with his business trips alone…” Her words pushed me off the wall and I who never talked back to my parents out of respects snapped! It was ugly.

She didn’t know…

Until I finally broke down and told everything that had happened. Told her why I ‘disappeared’ for nearly a whole month in China.  She cried, I cried, we both cried and she held me tight praying to God to mend my broken heart, she prayed God will mend my broken marriage. I saw her heart broken behind her eyes.

There are times where I feel like I failed them too. Me, the strong independent only daughter who left the nest at the tender age of 15 had came home broken, ruined with a child.

There are times where I can see the pain in my father’s eyes and it kills me inside. Me, his baby girl…

She’s a grown up women now. If she feels this is the right decision then we support her 110%. But…promise me that you will return her to us if things don’t work out between the two of you. Divorce is a big no-no in our family.” That was his request to Mr. X when he came to see my father and asked for his blessings.

A promise he failed to keep…

Oh the shame…as the only daughter, the first to got married I feel like I failed them. Failed to set a good example to my younger brothers.

It took times for them to accept that I wear the crown as the only person in our family’s history to ever get divorced and it hasn’t been easy.

How I prayed that my father’s bad heart wouldn’t get affected by all those mess and God did listened. Him, my father remained strong and cool headed throughout the times. But I know he is hurting for me…because of me.

I failed them…I wasn’t a good enough daughter for them. Failed to keep the no-divorce foundation that is within our big family. I was embarrassed and guilt weighs me down heavily.

Until one of my aunts wiped my self-pity dark window and let me see through it.

No matter what, they will always love you and accept you for who you are. The good and the bad. That’s what parents does. They are hurting because they see you are still hurting.” She reached my hand and held it while I sat there in tears.

They might not like divorce but sometimes God has other plans for your life…

Yes, I may wear the crown as a divorcee but I am rebuilding my life. I am worthy of their love because I am their daughter. No matter what…I am good enough for them. I am still their only daughter and they are still my parents. They are the roots inside me that will never go away. All they want is to see my happy.

They share my sadness, my pain but they also rejoice with my happiness, my success. They taught me what parenting is all about; to love unconditionally with a love that only parents can understand.

I am good enough daughter for them…

I am linking up with Just Be Enough again this Monday. Head over there to read more powerful inspiring stories of courage, strength, and love to one’s self.



If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future blog posts deliver straight to your inbox. Komentar dengan Bahasa Indonesia juga boleh loh jangan malu-malu ya.

28 Comments on I Am My Parents’ Daughter

  1. Alison@Mama Wants This
    October 3, 2011 at 7:51 am (5 years ago)

    Your parents will always love you, no matter what. So glad you have their support and love.

    Thank you for linking up again with JBE.
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..I’m In CanadaMy Profile

    • Maureen
      October 5, 2011 at 8:41 pm (5 years ago)

      Thank you Alison, I am so lucky indeed. I think I got to appreciate their love more now that I am a parent myself.

  2. Sylvia, Jake and Matt
    October 3, 2011 at 8:08 am (5 years ago)

    I am so happy to know that you have a wonderful mom and dad. Be strong.

    • Maureen
      October 5, 2011 at 8:42 pm (5 years ago)

      Thank you so much Sylvia. I am blessed to have them as my parents 🙂

  3. Bicultural Mama
    October 3, 2011 at 8:23 am (5 years ago)

    What a touching post. You did not fail, your ex failed – failed to be a good husband and father. I’m sure it was hard to be the first one in the family to get a divorced, but don’t let that brand or define you. Everyone has firsts, good and bad, and families are there to support each other through it all. You are resilient and strong and it shows through your posts.
    Bicultural Mama recently posted..Bring the Family Together With Jungle Speed + GiveawayMy Profile

    • Maureen
      October 5, 2011 at 8:44 pm (5 years ago)

      Thank you Maria, I really need to learn to forgive myself and not taking on all the blame. Thank you for reminding me that. Your wisdom are truly inspiring and I can’t thank you enough because every time I read your comments, you gives me not only strength but also courage. Thank you!

  4. Emmy
    October 3, 2011 at 11:01 am (5 years ago)

    Oyen , i know exactly how you feel. It took me ages to tell my parents the truth.
    I was really scared , i didnt want to hurt their feeling.
    I thought they will just yell and scream at me the day i told them
    but not even once they raised their voice.
    They were there for me through all and I am blessed to have them in my life.
    Be strong Oyen and i know you do , God has a beautiful plan for you and Alex.
    As i mentioned to you before , things will get better and i promise you it will.
    God bless you and Lil’ A dear !!!

    • Maureen
      October 5, 2011 at 8:51 pm (5 years ago)

      Emmy, I’m so glad to hear that I wasn’t alone…in feeling scared and not wanting to hurt our parents. Thank you for sharing your own experience, Em and look at you now my friend! You are a living testament that God is good all the time even when life had hurt us so badly. Thank you for everything, Em!

  5. Nami
    October 3, 2011 at 11:03 am (5 years ago)

    Your parents sound like strong and unique individuals who raised an equally strong and unique daughter. Moms say things that get under their daughter’s skin and dads always have that look like their daughters need protection but when you get past that, you hear them telling you they love you.

    This was a very touching post about your parents.
    Nami recently posted..Honeymooners…with KidsMy Profile

    • Maureen
      October 5, 2011 at 8:53 pm (5 years ago)

      Nami, thank you so much. You are right there’s always that thing between mothers and their daughters, isn’t? I get that all the time. I’m more of a daddy’s girl in all honesty maybe because I am the only girl in the family. They do love me in their own unique ways and I couldn’t be more grateful than that.

  6. Jakartass
    October 3, 2011 at 5:14 pm (5 years ago)

    You’re not the first and certainly won’t be the last to get divorced, but don’t think of it as a ‘failure’, Maureen. You have a support network which is considerably larger and stronger than most because of your courage to bring your angst out into the open.

    There is more joy than stress in being a mum; live for the moments and you’ll feel fulfilled.

    Be happy.


    • Maureen
      October 5, 2011 at 8:55 pm (5 years ago)

      Thanks J, I really appreciate your words of encouragements. I know I am luckier than most who suffer in silence – sadly there are plenty of my fellow ‘sisters’ like that in Indonesia. I can only hope by finding my healing here with all the supports, I can also help my ‘sisters’ here to know that they are not alone. Thank you again!

  7. John
    October 3, 2011 at 11:43 pm (5 years ago)

    I think you make me cry every second time I read something you write. It’s not a ‘failure’. It’s a learning experience. And you’re growing stronger with your new knowledge all the time. So glad you have such a supportive family…
    John recently posted..Australia and its indigenous heritageMy Profile

    • Maureen
      October 5, 2011 at 8:56 pm (5 years ago)

      Oh no, I’m sorry John! It is a learning experience because I got to feel the bitterness of these whole mess maybe so I can realize what the sweetness would be like in the future. Thanks for being a supportive friend too, John!

  8. Christine
    October 4, 2011 at 10:23 am (5 years ago)

    Maureen, You are a beautiful person that has been through so much. The divorce was not your fault, . Your father gave his blessings to unite his daughter with a man who did not live up to his word. You, nor your family could have ever known the pain, and emotional challenges you have endured.

    It happens…even Princess Diana’s divorce shocked the world, but she was always loved the same, if not more for the person she was. You were a fabulous wife, and will always be a daughter any mother and father would be proud of. Give it more time, keep the communication open, sharing your life experience with your beloved family….Blood is thicker than water !


    • Maureen
      October 6, 2011 at 4:25 pm (5 years ago)

      Christina thank you so much. Blood is thicker than water, that’s a fact for sure.

  9. Robin | Farewell, Stranger
    October 5, 2011 at 5:42 am (5 years ago)

    Oh, such a tough thing to wear. I’m glad you came through it knowing you’re all right despite something they may not have liked, and knowing it was the right thing for you. Your happiness and well-being are more important than staying married.

    Thanks for linking up with us again. 🙂
    Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..I’m Not Alone, You’re Not AloneMy Profile

    • Maureen
      October 6, 2011 at 4:26 pm (5 years ago)

      That’s what they finally told me that what matters most is my happiness. Thank you Robin! 🙂

  10. Virginia
    October 5, 2011 at 10:55 am (5 years ago)

    Your parents clearly love yourself very, very much. I think you should practice loving yourself just as much as they do, which might take work, but maybe if you do that, you’ll see why they love you that much.

    Keep working on healing your heart! <3 You are enough for yourself as well as others.
    Virginia recently posted..Just Be Enough: I know I have toMy Profile

    • Maureen
      October 6, 2011 at 4:27 pm (5 years ago)

      That really is what I need to do, Virginia…to love myself and I am working on it, it’s not easy after what I’ve been through but I know the journey to my healing will requires much work. Thank you for your kind words.

  11. Jessica@Team Rasler
    October 6, 2011 at 3:51 am (5 years ago)

    It’s so hard to feel like we aren’t living up to our parents’ expectations. But pretty much all of them will say that what their main hope for us is to be happy and fulfilled. I know divorce wasn’t in your (or their) plan, but you’re so right that you are enough – MORE than enough – just being their daughter and doing the best you can at any given moment. Great post.
    Jessica@Team Rasler recently posted..Two months agoMy Profile

    • Maureen
      October 6, 2011 at 4:31 pm (5 years ago)

      Thank you Jessica, it wasn’t easy to finally admitted that I can’t keep the ‘tradition’ of no divorce but they have come to terms with it and accepted my decisions and back me up 150% so I really am blessed to have them in my life. 🙂

  12. Elena
    October 6, 2011 at 8:19 am (5 years ago)

    I struggled with this when I divorced Principessa’s dad. Although for me, I knew that my mom never really approved of my ex-husband, so it was a failure that she was expecting but one that I could not open up to her about. The good news is that they will always love us, no matter what, just like we will for our kiddos. Sending you so much love and JBE thanks!
    Elena recently posted..Adventures in Scotch TapeMy Profile

    • Maureen
      October 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm (5 years ago)

      Elena, I think my father was a bit reluctant at first before I got married but being the supportive father that he is, he let me made my own decisions. Parents love really is amazing isn’t? Thanks Elena!

  13. Jessica
    October 7, 2011 at 12:47 pm (5 years ago)

    It is tough to feel like we let our parents down but no matter what they love us and I know that I never want my children to be unhappy in life. Stay strong and I’m happy you have their support.
    Jessica recently posted..A Slippery SlopeMy Profile

  14. Reese145
    October 10, 2011 at 7:18 pm (5 years ago)

    Yen, you made me all teary all the way home from the office :(. We are so lucky to feel such love, to have such family. Blessings in disguise, these ‘mistakes’ we made in life. Because you came out all stronger and wiser. A better person :). Puji Tuhan for our families! Thanks for sharing this wonderful story, Yen. I’m proud of you :). Big hugs for you and lil A.


1Pingbacks & Trackbacks on I Am My Parents’ Daughter

  1. […] my parents and family love me even when I know I had disappointed them in a way. I am still their daughter. They never voice it but they don’t have to. I can feel it in my soul. Not so much about the big […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *

CommentLuv badge