I Am My Mother’s Daughter

Mommy why are you laying down on Oma’s lap?” the boy was genuinely curious when he asked me that some days ago.

Because she’s my Mama.” And I smiled as I felt my mother’s hand on my head.

Such simple gesture, such ease.

Yet brought me near to tears.

With every gentle stroke on my hair I felt love.

I felt her love covers me.

And that’s what I’ve been doing a lot lately, that’s what I needed. The love from my mother.

Being on my mother’s lap. We would talk. We would laugh. I opened up to her in ways I thought was impossible before.

As much as I love my mother our relationship hasn’t been the easiest.

For as long as I could remember, I always thought I’m Daddy’s girl, you know being the only girl and all that. So I always felt a great distance between my own mother and me. All of these years I thought she ‘belong’ to my brothers who could easily lay on her lap, hug her and kiss her while I find that hard to do.

Weird? Maybe but I had my reasons.

Now that walls has been knocked down and I see my whole dynamic with her differently… I can feel it. Dare I say I got to understand her a little bit more now than before? Because before our relationship wasn’t exactly the perfect kind.

We had so many bumpy roads behind us.

We are threading on a new bond right now. We are opening up trying to understand each other and in doing so found similarities that made me realized I am my mother’s daughter.

How thankful I am to be given this second chance to rebuild this mother-daughter connection, there’s not enough words to even describe how happy I feel deep inside.

Although my family is very loving beside being very silly most of the times, we are not the type of family who shower each other with praises or hugs. Growing up, hugs and kisses were reserved only for special occasions like birthday and Christmas or for the airport when we were still living apart.

I guess having my son was one of the reasons why I wanted to change that.

Having him makes hugging and kissing feels natural and oh, how I hug him and kiss him plenty whenever I can. He give my parents and my brothers hugs too.

Yet it’s still so hard for me to just come up to my parents and give them hugs.

Why? I can’t really explain why.

We relies on silent understanding that flows between us. We know we love each other we just doesn’t express them verbally much. Only on special occasions.

But I want to change that!

Laying on my mother’s lap…transported me back to my childhood because I don’t remember having moments like that when I was little. I’m sure she hugged me back then but my heart just couldn’t remember it.

So now we are weaving new memories, my mother and I. Someday soon I want to be able to look at her and say “Mama, I love you.” Then give her a big hug. Because I do love her so.

How about you? How’s your relationship with your own mother? 

*Oma = Grandmother



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15 Comments on I Am My Mother’s Daughter

  1. Eliz@MirthandMotivation
    July 8, 2013 at 5:19 pm (3 years ago)

    Hi Maureen,
    It’s so good to read your blog again. It’s been a while and I’m happy that you are doing well and that your son, mom, and family are doing fine too. I enjoyed this post and pray that you and your mom will continue to build new memories and pathways to love.
    Take care,
    Eliz@MirthandMotivation recently posted..The Gift: World Book Night 2013My Profile

    • Maureen
      July 10, 2013 at 9:02 am (3 years ago)

      Hi Eliz,
      Awww thank you I remember you from back in the old days! How have you been? Hope all is well with you and your family too, my friend.
      Thank you so much for the kind words.
      Big hugs for you!

  2. Alexandra
    July 8, 2013 at 8:21 pm (3 years ago)

    This is the phase of my life. Such a long story, but we’re where it feels right. I love this, I say it on FB the other day, “Forgive not because others deserve it, but because you deserve the peace.” Good post, xo

    • Maureen
      July 10, 2013 at 9:06 am (3 years ago)

      I love that quote, Alexandra. Thank you for saying that. I now feels like I’m in a place where I can understand my mother better therefore I can understand why she said the things she said or did the things she did in the past. It is a process.
      Thank you so much 🙂

  3. Alison
    July 8, 2013 at 8:58 pm (3 years ago)

    That’s wonderful, Maureen.
    My relationship with my mother isn’t bad. But it’s not where a mother-daughter relationship should be. Yet.
    Alison recently posted..4 Tips to Prevent Baking DisastersMy Profile

    • Maureen
      July 10, 2013 at 9:16 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you Alison.
      Yet, is the key. I always thought I had an ‘okay’ relationship too until the past few weeks. Been quite an eye opening journey 🙂

    • Maureen
      July 10, 2013 at 9:20 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you Andrea. So true, our relationships evolves.
      I still struggle with saying those words too…that’s where my works get cut out for me. Funny, because with my son it’s so easy and comes naturally but it is a process.

    • Maureen
      July 10, 2013 at 9:21 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you so much my sistah from another mother! 😀
      Hugs you back!

    • Maureen
      July 10, 2013 at 9:22 am (3 years ago)

      They really are, Karyn. I forgot how potent they really are 🙂

  4. Saundra Rohn
    July 13, 2013 at 7:22 am (3 years ago)

    Reading this with wet eyes❤ Mother and daughters need each other and I am so happy you are closer now❤I love you

  5. shahalam Khan
    July 24, 2013 at 6:19 am (3 years ago)

    This is my first visit here and can’t stop myself to reading this story, it’s so heartwarming, very nice.

  6. Rina
    August 22, 2013 at 5:48 pm (3 years ago)

    I also experienced the same thing – when I was in middle school – and my brother came to the house … morning has always been a very pleasant atmosphere — sister always wake me up by stroking hair – truly amazing


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