It’s time for me to be a quitter!
Yup, you read that right, folks.
With everything that happened in my life recently. Being diagnosed with herniated discs, unable to work out plus one more ordeal that I chose not to reveal here made me took my head out of the sands.
To face one last huge demons in my life.
To quit smoking.
With the help of Allen Carr’s book I realized I am a drug addict. I am addicted to nicotine. The book opened my eyes of how much I’ve been using smoking as an excuse, as a crutch while choking myself.
All of you smokers/ex smokers knows how badly smoking is. All of those scary diseases out there, we very well aware of them. But my mentality has always been “Oh, that wouldn’t happen to me.”
I’ve been smoking since I was in college. The only time I stopped was when I got pregnant and breastfeeding.
As soon as I stopped breastfeeding, I lit up that nasty thing again.
I always thought it helped me coping with stressful times, with sadness, with the emptiness I feel inside.
It was my crutch.
I was one of those people who rushed out of the airport to get their fixed after a 12+ hours flights. One early autumn in 2008, I landed in JFK with my son after a long flight from Jakarta on our way to see ex-in-laws in Florida. My body craved the nicotine so I pushed my son’s stroller outside after bundled him up with his jacket just so I could have my fixed. I had bladder problem – or so I made it looks like – to excused myself out of social events to have a puff or more outside.
Mr. X is a smoker, I grew up with parents who used to be heavy smokers. I live in a country where just about everyone smokes.
Mind you, I thought I was doing good by not smoking indoor, away from my son. Doesn’t matter really isn’t? I was hooked.
Working out has make me feel a lot better but my breathing? Not so much! This realization came after only one lap of swimming as part of my physical therapy to heal my back. I was out of breathe like no body’s business. The nicotine did this!
After 13+ years of being a smoker, I know this ugly addiction is slowly ruining my life. Who am I kidding but my own self? All the working out I did will amount to nothing while I still inhale these toxic poisons!
I still remember how much my sense of smelling was improved when I stopped smoking during my pregnancy and I actually enjoyed it. What a wonderful thing that I haven’t experience since.
Making the conscious decision to quit, I am now on my 7th days of being a non-smoker and I feel fantastic! I am killing the big demons in my brain that had enslaved me for years. Of course there were days where I got so miserable and thought I would definitely lit up by now but then I realized it wouldn’t make the stress go away. It wouldn’t change a thing so why bother! Wish me luck, folks!