Two years ago…
He held my hand tightly as we walked into the school. He was very shy.
“I don’t want to go in there!” tears formed in his beautiful eyes.
“You will be fine, pumpkin. I’ll see you after school, okay?” I kissed his cheeks before the teacher ushered him upstairs to the game room right next to his new class. They went inside and closed the door.
“He will be fine, Ibu*” smiled one of the two teachers from his class.
I peeked through the small window by the door. My baby was crying alone while holding on to a little train and my heart sank. Second guessing my decision to put him in school, I had to force myself to walk out of the school without him.
When I walked him into the theater, he dropped my hand quickly as he saw his friends. “See you Mommy!” he waved before darting inside, behind the stage.
As I got an hour or so to wait before the show started, I sat outside alone with just me and my mind.
I still can’t believe my little boy, my shy little man is going to graduate Kindergarten.
A lot has happened in the past two years since he first started school. A lot of tears. A lot uncertainty, a lot of doubts, a lot of worries on my part.
I worried he won’t be able to read as good as his friends, turned out the teachers praised him for being one of the advanced reader in his class.
I worried he won’t get over his shyness, yet he played King in the last school performance and did so well.
Sitting there reflecting on how these past two years has been for my boy, for me. It wasn’t just him who grows. I did too. I learned to stop stressing so much and to trust that he will be fine.
A tear then two managed to escape before I had a chance to fish some tissue out of my purse.
My premature baby is graduating kindergarten.
For some people this may seems too mundane, so ordinary and nothing to be blown out of proportion yet for me? It was huge.
Mr. X managed to show up, albeit a bit late, for him just to show up was monumental because he has managed to miss out on every single school’s performance since A started school.
Awkward? Yes, you bet but it wasn’t about me, wasn’t about him. It was about our son.
So he and I sat there watching almost the end of the play “Peter Pan”. Mr. X got to see A as one of the lost boys with his friends.
Before the graduation ceremony started, there was a 30 minutes break. Parents got snack boxes. Not sure what to do because he and I were never in that situation before, I just stood alone by the big window sipping my water. Mr. X came by after he was finished with his cigarette. We managed to carry a regular conversations about his work, about the new baby. He even showed me some pictures of the baby and I genuinely praised how cute he is.
I told him thank you for coming on that special day. It meant the world for the graduating little boy to see both his parents there.