Nannyless And Happy

15 May By 16 Comments
goodbye

“It’s time…”

My heart has been heavily pushing me to do the right thing for week before I gathered enough courage to let her go.

The boy and I love our nanny. She is sweet; she loves my boy and very patience with him. She’s not like the neighborhood nannies who hang out at night outside the house with their boyfriends.

She’s the first live in nanny we ever had. She’s been with us since the first time I went back to work in 2010. Three years of me trusting her to help taking care of A while I’m at work.

She got the weekend off even when her ‘boss’ have to work on Saturdays.

A adores her, love her and give her plenty of affections too.

Then she had a boyfriend…

Then she told me they were getting married despite her young age.

Everyone told me to get ready to find a replacement nanny.

In our office pantry I’ve heard countless stories about how hard, how difficult it is to find the right nannies, the right helpers. Typical working moms’ stories and dilemmas…I always thought we were quite lucky with her.

After the nanny’s wedding, she moved out to live with her husband. She would come in the morning before A wakes up and come home after I got home from work.

Then she started going home at 5:00 PM…

She would text me, saying she’s going home. “Ok and thank you.” That would be my typical replies.

Then 5:00 PM turned into 4:00 PM.

Later I found out she’s been making A had his dinner before 4 so she could come home. Of course the boy would get hungry again at around 7 or 8 which is very close to his bedtime.

When I asked her why she make A had such an early dinner she came up with excuses saying she’s tired, she have to go home and cook and bla bla bla…

My jaws dropped.

Wow!

I have to leave home before 6:00 AM everyday and often times I didn’t come home until 6:00 PM sometimes later. My boy went to school from 8 until 12. She’s pretty much free during those hours. I even told her she could go home while A is in school so she could do her “wifely duties”. She didn’t take the offer.

That’s when it hits me, it’s time to let her go. Things are not working out and A is getting bigger anyway.

“He’ll be fine. He’s pretty independent and you have me.” My mother assured me when I lamented about the whole nanny drama. I am so thankful to have my parents who doesn’t mind helping their daughter out.

“It will be good for him and makes him more independent.” Mr. X supported my decision when I told him about it.

So I broke the news to her.

She was sad.

The boy was sad.

She cried hugging A and telling him to be a good boy.

“Why is she leaving Mommy?” boy gently asked me as I cuddled him on my lap later that night.

“Because you are a big boy now, right? You are going to be in elementary school soon.” I kissed his curly head.

“I am a big boy!” He jumped out of my lap. Went to the kitchen and got some water himself.

My heart was heavy but I just know I am doing the right thing and now it’s almost been a month since we are nanny-less and I love seeing how independent he gets.

goodbye

Filed Under: Single Mommyhood Tagged With: , , , ,

We Are A Family

11 May By 14 Comments
Run Baby Run!

I am a single mom.

I am used to do things on my own…on our own.

We…the boy and I went to his school for a Family Fun Day event last month. School events always make me feel uneasy. For some reasons, I always feel like the odd ball, the one that stood out like a sore thumb in the seas of ‘intact’ family of mother, father and kiddo(s) unit.

For school performances I always managed to drag either my mother or one of my brothers to come along.

The Family Fun Day was our first ever event where it was just us two.

When we got to the venue early, there were only a few families there. Complete sets of families.

The boy was very happy and seemed oblivious to the fact that he’s there with just his Mommy.

He got to try some of the games with a few of his classmates.

Then I started to relax.

I cheered for the boy while he sprint and he won first place and I took tons of picture.

He made it to final for the sprint.

Unfortunately, he fell down. I waited for him to get up and run again from the finish line. He wasn’t moving.

“Please don’t cry!” my heart sank but I knew he’s crying.

I saw one of the Dads came rushing to his side and before I knew it I ran to get my son…my boy.

He was a sobbing mess by the time I got to him. He threw his arms around my waist and said “I fell, Mommy!”

After I checked his knees to make sure he’s alright and saw no scratches or bleeding, I kneel down beside him and tell him he’s OK, that I will help him run to the finish line.

His eyes still wet with tears lit up.

I grabbed his hand and said “Let’s run!”

We ran together to the finish line, holding hands…

My sensitive boy was sullen even after I assured him it’s OK, that he is a winner in my book, that he is doing well.

After the winners got their trophies, my boy said he wants to run again. Luckily, there were some moms around who were late. They quickly let the boys run again just for the sake of it.

Boy was smiling again.

We were divided into groups. The parents and their kids, and yes…it was just me and the boy while the other kids have both their parents there.

As usual I felt uneasy about the whole thing. Although the moms treated us nicely, they were all very polite and friendly yet I still feel odd. It was a mental thing I guess.

Then we started having fun. The school had prepared games for the kids to do with their parents. The moms take turns with the dads. I started to loosen up and actually enjoying it. Seeing the excitements on the boy’s face was enough for me.

“Oh, I am so out of shape that game left me breathless, I will have XX’s father do the next game!” lamented one of the moms as I sipped some water. To that, I just smiled knowingly because I remember exactly how that feels like but secretly I was proud of myself for being able to keep up with the games without gasping for air.

We laughed, we danced, we sweat, we cheered, we kicked ass at the field, and most importantly we had a great time!

I realized it was me who needs to relax, it was me who needs to live in the moment and enjoy doing the things that my boy and I are blessed to do instead of worrying what the society thinks. The family day gave me a much more different perspective.

“Did you have fun, pumpkin?” I asked the boy after we got home that day.

“Mommy, it was the best day of my life!” his eyes shines, his smile so wide and my heart puff with so much love.

I may have no husband who secretly bought me Mother’s Day lavish presents as a surprise or taking me to fancy dinner/lunch/brunch or whatever but I am beyond blessed to have someone who calls me Mommy, someone who loves me despite the occasional yelling on my part, despite my shortcomings…I am one lucky Mom to hear my boy says “I love you Mommy!“

Happy Mother’s Day to you all beautiful and amazing Mother out there!

Filed Under: Finding Joy, Single Mommyhood Tagged With: , , , , ,

Believe in Words

22 Apr By 8 Comments
Train of Life

My days have been brighter lately…

Not that it was dull before, oh no way!

They just shine more for the past few weeks.

Morning come with more zest as I open my eyes, eager to turn the phone on.

There will be something waiting for me.

Simple words that will make me smile and make my heart sing with joy.

Words…

He has a way with words that win this blogger/writer – wannabe (he thinks I should ditch the writer-wannabe attribute for I am a writer already. Swoon!)

I fell in love with how eloquent he is, how good he is with words and most importantly he never uses those annoying text languages. Oh thank God, no!

I’d go about my day with a wider smile on my face.

And a twinkle or two in my eyes.

During the day we would sneak some conversations in and my busy day feels more bearable. In my frenzied schedule, I found comfort through his words, his voice, his smile.

Of course I was a skeptic at first.

“Oh c’mon girl, you’ve been here before. You’ve been through this! Get your self together, woman!” My bitchy inner self would snap and slap me hard. “Aren’t you getting too old to be feeling like this?”

“But this time it’s different…” The helpless romantic in me would plead.

“How?” The bitchy inner self would raise one eyebrow

“Just different!” And the minds wonder off…smiling, can’t stop and won’t stop thinking about this person, this man that has stole my heart.

How can I explain…when words failed me. Failed to explain, failed to justify.

He inspires me to write, to keep on writing. To revive old dreams almost long forgotten because I felt like I wasn’t good enough writer. He reminded me that my voice is my voice…and there is no other voice like my own in this world full of great writers.

He ignites that flame in me, he believe in myself that I have what it takes to make those dreams come true. One word at a time…one page at a time…

He makes me realize that my past is my past. It has brought me here to this very day and shaped me to be the person that I am today. That I shouldn’t keep looking behind me and fear what happened in my past will come to hunt me down and repeat itself. I’ve learned a whole lot, I had grown, and I had become wiser if not smarter.

How can I not fall for someone who could say something as eloquent as this and more?

Train of Life

Every day I got more reasons to believe…

Thank you for believing in me, D!

Filed Under: Finding Joy, Single Mommyhood Tagged With: , ,

Baby Sister VS Computer Virus

18 Apr By 4 Comments
Collage

Somewhere between making some petty cash reconciliation reports, between booking international flights from a small island in Papua New Guinea to Cairns, Australia, arranging drivers, booking domestic flights…my phone beep.

A message from my mother.

“Yen, Mama lagi ke RS Husada, Mangga Besar. Liat anaknya Opa Jemmy meninggal.” (Yen, I’m on my way to a hospital. Grandpa Jemmy’s child passed away.)

My finger froze reading that.

I message her back asking whom? I remember my Grandpa only have two children left.

“Marchel…”

My heart cracked. I knew he’s been having health problem, Marchel – who is technically my uncle – but he’s way too young. He’s a lot younger than me!

Gone too soon.

Because the nanny is still out sick – she’s on her third day of being sick -  my next questions to my mother was about A. He’s in school and if no one is home…

I couldn’t reach the nanny on her phone, I was going to ask if she could just come in until my parents come home.

No other option, I have to leave work early.

I’m not too happy about it because I have so much things to finish at work but I must be there when A get drop off from school.

Lucky me, my bosses are pretty lenient about this kinds of ‘emergency’.  So I packed up and left just five minutes before lunch break.

I did make it home on time before this curly haired boy. The car honked when it reached our place so I rushed outside to open the gate. Love how they don’t just drop him off but waited until someone come out.

“Mommy!!!!” that face just lit up and my heart puff with so much love.

Seeing that…hearing how excited he is.

I forgot about the piles of stuffs still needed to be finished at work. I just want to hold him close! I miss this not-so-little-guy of mine.

He ran passed me going back into the house while telling me he’s thirsty. He’s sweaty, sticky…he’s a boy! My curly haired boy.

We sat down together for lunch.

I asked about his school.

“I practiced dancing today!” had to coax him to wait until he’s done with lunch before he shows me the moves.

He looks all grown up sitting there across from me eating his lunch.

Out of the blue he asked: “Mommy, do I have a baby sister, yes or no?”

“No, baby you don’t have a sister. Why?”

“I want to go buy a baby sister then.”

Had to put a straight face so I don’t laugh at his innocence statement.

“We can’t buy sister a the store.”

“Maybe they have a robot sister, no?” He was being dead serious and I was glad I didn’t chuckle.

“Uhm…I don’t think they sell that too, Pumpkin.”

“Okay then…Mommy can have a baby sister on your tummy? Like Tante did?” (Tante means Auntie and he knew his father’s wife had a baby).

“Well, maybe one day?”

“I have a brother…” the dots were the name of his half baby brother.

“Yes. I know you do and you are a good brother.”

I remember that picture his father sent me of A pushing his little baby brother in a swing. So cute!

“Mommy, if a computer gets a virus…” And I raised my eyebrow wondering whose kid is this talking?!

And just like that our lunch conversations went from baby sister to computer virus.

This boy never ceases to amaze me. Never a dull moment with him and I love this. Amazing how a tragedy like the passing of my uncle actually gave me a ‘bonus’ day to spend with this cheeky monkey.

Collage

“The good news is A will be so happy and surprised you’re there to see him…”

Someone very special told me that when I vented out about the nanny not coming in again. Oh the nanny…she’s been giving me headaches lately – maybe another blog post for that!

And he was right!

A is very happy to see his mother home early and even let me kiss him oh so plenty today.

PS: My deepest condolences to the whole Mangundap family.
Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Toddlerhood Tagged With: , , , ,

Listen To Me

11 Apr By Leave a Comment
Radio

I haven’t blog about it here but many many years ago, back when I was still in college I spent a couple of months behind the microphone.

No, I’m not a singer!

Don’t get your hopes up!

Radio

I went home to where my parents used to live in a small mining town hidden far within the jungle of East Borneo when I got the offer.

“Hey, do you want to be on the radio?”

And I went “What???”

“Yeah, it’s a small radio. Run by employees of the company and we are so new we don’t even have any commercial. It’s a volunteer kinda thing.”

Before I knew it, I agreed to come and checked out the small studio.

That was my first brush up with broadcasting world and guess what? I loved every bit of my shows back then. Yeah, I ended up co-hosting their most popular show in the evening.

My father used to a radio DJ so maybe it does run in the family? Or maybe because I just love to talk too much? Hah!

Psst…that’s how my parents met actually. They fell in love on the radio! But that’s for another blog post.

That was the first and the last time I got involved in broadcasting until last week…

After receiving a very interesting email, I agreed to be interviewed by Overseas Radio. The segment is called Gateway to Asia.

We did the interview through Skype and were pre-recorded last Sunday. Me? I was nervous as hell! I haven’t do anything like this ever before and when I get nervous my English seems to be escaping my brain.

The host, Ayn is really cool and fun to talk with. She’s so reassuring too! Thanks, girly! Pleasure to connect and have the chit-chat with you.

Anyway it will air on Thursday, April 11, 2013 at 11am – 12pm EST (that’s Thursday night 10pm Jakarta time). Just go to their website and click on the big red button on the top right side. A pop up window will open and voila…you get to hear me!

Please do excuse how nervous and if it sounds like I was mumbling.

They will put an archive for the interview a few days later in case you miss it. Thank you for listening!

photo by: mark sebastian
Filed Under: Jakarta Livin', Single Mommyhood Tagged With: , , , ,

Rinse & Repeat – A Single Mom Life in Jakarta

14 Mar By 9 Comments
logoSOJavatar

Hey, what do you know I attempt to sit here and come up with a blog post after weeks of going missing from the blogosphere.

Seriously tho, I have so much in my mind that the thoughts are just about to burst out of me but the classic reason? I haven’t been able to just sit down and type. Don’t mind if my job is to sit by the computer pretty much all day.

Let me let you take a peek at my life and it’s rhythms lately.

When the alarm starts buzzing at 5:00 AM daily, I peeled myself out of bed careful not to wake the little boy sleeping next to me. Yes, he had moved back into my bed after a short stint of sleeping in his own little bed. I don’t mind it really. Its nice to be able to cuddle and hold him plus the once in awhile jab in my eye hah!

I didn’t even drink coffee anymore in the morning when before, it was the first thing I craved for. Shocking, I know!

I’d drink a huge tall glass of water followed by my whey protein shakes. Grabbed my meals out of the fridge to put them in my small bag. And by meals I really meant: breakfast, snack, lunch and another snack.

Hopped into the shower before I rummage the closet silently, pulling things out for the boy to wear to school.

While waiting for my motorbike taxi guy to come at 5:45 AM, I’d take my two servings of multivitamins and packed them into one of those tiny pillboxes like the old people use. Mind you, I borrowed my Mom’s pink box.

Zigzagging his way in and out of traffic, the guy would drop me off and I’d wait for my bus. My big red bus.

Sometimes the bus comes pretty fast, sometimes they’re late and if they are late, chances are I’d have to stand up. Core tighten – something I’ve been trying to incorporate in my everyday life now – I’d hold on to my bags and to the bar by the bus’ ceiling.

Luckily the bus ride is short, only about 10-15 minutes depending on traffic before I got off and crossed not one, not two but three lanes to get to my office.

Here’s part of my commute to work – mind you trying to take a video while riding the motorbike would be too close to a suicide so let’s not do that.

Because I took a motorbike and the bus, I never go to work wearing my makeup on. That’s only applied once I got to work. Coming in early means I don’t need to rush. So I got to wash my face, put my make up on, do my hair before having my coffee and breakfast.

I’m always early to work and I really don’t mind it besides the obvious reasons of beating the traffic, it makes me feel less guilty of going home on time or at least I tried to! Technically, my office hour runs from 8:15 AM to 4:00 PM (up to 5:00 PM on the third week of the month). Why? Because we work Saturdays for half a day and the third Saturday is our day off.

By going home on time or at least around 4:30-ish I can be home and help my boy with homework or I can hit the gym.

Lately work has been so crazy busy. Last week alone I flew close to 50 people on different days, different times. Time flew by pretty darn fast while I sit at work doing a million things at once. Before you know it, lunch break is there and I’d warm my meal and sit with the other girls chit-chatting.

A glimpse of how my Monday looks like is on Vine.

Once I got home, it’s time for my boy and we’ll be in bed by 8:00 PM. Rinse and repeat!

This is my cycle. My life.

Where do I fit in any social life?

During office hours – if that can be counts as socializing. Hah, whom am I kidding? I have no social life and let’s not go down that road for now. Safe that for another blog post.

And this is why I haven’t been updating this blog, why I barely visit your blogs. My social lifeline is connected from my phone and that’s about it.

So what you up to, friends?

Filed Under: Single Mommyhood Tagged With: , ,

A Boy And His Little Faith

3 Jan By 25 Comments
Faith

Who knew wedding can bring so much aftermath effects? I still owe a blog post about how the big fat Indonesian wedding of my brother went.

The whole wedding affected even the youngest member of my family…

My boy.

My sweet sensitive boy.

The Boyfriend Mystery

 

“Mommy, where’s your boyfriend?” Asked the boy casually one afternoon after the wedding. Lego sprawled on the coffee table, him squatting next to it building something.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, Pumpkin.” I lift my head off of the latest Oxygen magazine to look at this boy.

“Okay…” he continue with his legos and dropped the subject.

I too brushed it off.

Until Sunday  morning.

After helping him out of his pajamas on a lazy Sunday morning, the boyfriend question returned! “Mommy, why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

This time the look in his eyes pierced me straight through the heart.

“I just don’t, Baby…” I squeezed the mosquito repellent tube and lather his skinny leg.

“Uncle Egy is married to Auntie Cheli, Daddy have Auntie now. What about you Mommy?” Tears were brewing in his eyes. My boy, my sweet caring child! He shouldn’t be worrying about his mother!

I am at lost of words.

“I will be your boyfriend!” he exclaimed, this time tears flowing and my heart cracked.

“No, you are Mommy’s son…you can’t be my boyfriend but you will always be mommy’s love.”

We hugged…and I told him how much he meant for me.

My heart was heavy all day.

Did I look unhappy? No, I think I’m doing pretty awesome. Yes, I haven’t date in forever but it’s not like I just mope and complaints all day for the lack of love stories in my life.

Work has kept me busy, the wedding, Christmas…

I didn’t even think about it – well not until I cried on my brother’s wedding day – but that’s for another post.

It must be the wedding! Yes, final conclusion.

He saw his uncle got married, he saw another uncle danced with his girlfriend. Mommy? Alone laughing and taking pictures.

I tweeted about that and one of my dearest friend message me right away. We talked about it. She was the light in my cloudy gray dark Sunday!

“Tell him that God is preparing you and him right now…he doesn’t understand it and need your guidance.” she said.

And I wiped my own tears because I didn’t even think of such smart answer like that. The questions, the sadness in my boy’s eyes caught me off guard.

Faith of A Child

Faith

That Sunday night before bedtime, after saying his bedtime prayer. I pulled him close in my arms. Gently kissed his curly head.

“You want to know why Mommy doesn’t have a boyfriend right now, Pumpkin?” I asked softly.

“Yes, why Mommy?”

“Because God is preparing him for us. Because God wants us to have the best man to be with Mommy and to love you too.” I let go of him so I could see into his eyes hoping he would understand.

“He will love me too?” his eyebrows raised.

“Of course he will! He will play with you, talk with you and even help you with homework.”

“Okay! Does he have iPad 2?” I raised one eyebrow, with a smile on my face.

“Maybe he will!” And I just laugh at that. His eyes lit up and he quickly sat up.

“I have to ask Jesus!”

Seeing him, hearing him praying wholeheartedly “Jesus, please give Mommy a good boyfriend with iPad 2. Amen!” brought me to tears that I quickly wiped away. Not wanting him to see me cry.

Oh bless you my sweet dear boy.

“Thank you, Pumpkin for your prayer. That was really really sweet! Don’t worry about Mommy ok? I’m fine! We are more than fine.” I can’t help but giving him lots of kisses and he laughed in my arms as I sneaked a little bite on his cheek.

Of all my imperfections in being a mother, I must’ve done something right to have such a sweet caring little man in my life. May the good Lord hears and answered his prayers.

Happy New Year, everyone! May 2013 bring you plenty of joy and happiness.

Filed Under: Finding Joy, Single Mommyhood Tagged With: , , , ,

Not Picky, Just Careful

26 Nov By 21 Comments
Happy

“It’s normal, dude! She’s twenty….(fill in the dots).”

And that’s where I wish my face doesn’t turned green like those emoticon face on yahoo messenger. Every time a similar conversation came up, that’s the line you will hear a lot of Indonesian people throw out in the air when it comes to girls and marriage.

“So?” It frustrate me to the max.

“So, she wants to be married, bla bla bla, you know the drill!” my best friend would said it all and that pretty much sealed the believe that women will never be complete if she’s not married before the age of 30.

“Yeah, just hope she won’t marry a douche bag!”

Granted I got married way too young at 26 and divorced at 31 but it taught me a lot of stuffs.

I’ve always been somewhat of a feminist and maybe it even got worst now that I’m a divorcee.

But seriously, Indonesian girls like many other girls in Asian countries are raised to believe that it is their noble life path to get marry, become someone’s wife, bear children and raise them well. Circle of life!

Marriage life ain’t a walk in a park!

Yet the pressure still doesn’t change.

Heck, even I got the pressure now that I am a single mom. Being divorced for almost 3 years now, people started to asked “So, when will you get marry again?”.

My favorite? “C’mon…don’t wait too long. You’re not young anymore!”

Really?!

How bout this one? “You’re almost 35, very soon you will be too old to have more kids!”

Either I wanted to laugh at that or I want to vomit. Hard to tell but I know my skin has grown thicker throughout the years so usually I just walked away.

Do I want to get marry again? Honestly, I’m not sure. I just haven’t meet the man who can convince me why I should so until then I’m quite open about the possibility but I do not put a deadline on my status.

Do I want to have another baby? Maybe. If it happens, it will happen but I’d prefer to meet the father first, right? Not someone who will just impregnate me and leave me. That’s what the sperms bank are for!

Some people think I’m still stuck. Excuse me?

Stuck with what exactly?

Just because I am still single it doesn’t mean I’m still bitter towards Mr. X. He and I are on a good terms now. We co-parent. We joked. We even swap nebulizer machine for our kids!

No…no…no!

Why is it so difficult for people around me to understand and accept that I just haven’t meet the right man?

Am I being too picky? Maybe I am, but I had failed before and I don’t want to make the same mistakes so I learned from my past, my mistakes, those lessons. Let’s just say that I have a clearer picture of what kind of man I am looking for now. Thank you very much!

So what if I’m still single?

I am still hanging my dating shoes and it’s been awhile since I last went on a date. Guess what? I’m perfectly fine. It doesn’t make me feel weird going out with my couple friends. We still had fun, had a great time.

Seriously, people just need to take lots of chill pills when it comes to why I’m still single and trust me when I say: yes, I am single and yes I am happy.

If you are single/divorced do you ever feel the pressure to be in a relationship again?

Filed Under: Finding Joy, Single Mommyhood, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

My Sensitive Child

23 Nov By
My Sensitive Child

When he was a baby, he would cry if someone tried to hold him and it’s not me, his father or his half brothers. I just thought it’s because we doesn’t socialize much. Living in a really small town, being far from both sides of the families I thought that’s what causing it.

When he was over a year old, the tantrums, the tears, I thought it was just a prelude to the famous terrible two phase.

It wasn’t easy.

When he was three years old, I thought we were out of the wood! Well, not quite. Not quite!

Yet he outgrew that full blown out meltdown period.

My child, my deeply sensitive child will be six years old soon and he still shed a lot of tears. He is still shy in new surroundings. I love him for the way he is wholeheartedly but this mama could really use some tips on how to deal with this especially with elementary school coming up next year.

Honestly, it is my fears that he will be bully in school because of this.

So help us God.

I’m at World Moms Blog today talking about this. Do you have any tips on how to deal with as shy/sensitive child? Do come and share there.

Filed Under: Single Mommyhood Tagged With: , ,

Facing His Fears

22 Oct By 10 Comments
Happy Boy

It was a cloudy morning…

“Are you sure you don’t want to swim with Mommy?” I kneel down to his level, looking into his eyes.

“NO!!!” he barked in his toddler defiant.

“Okay, then I’ll just go by myself.” I stripped out of my t-shirt and short after taking off my back support braces.

I managed to do a few laps. Haven’t been swimming for ages met by 3 weeks of no workouts, my arms and legs quickly got tired and I was out of breathe.

Popped my head out of the water and leaned on the side of the pool. He was watching me intently.

“Let’s give it a try, please…” I pleaded knowing very well First Grade will involve a swimming lesson as one of the subject next year.

“NO! I don’t want to swim!”

“Look the kiddy pool is fun and it’s not deep.” Gently I took his hand into mine and we walked to the kiddy pool. I got in and showed him how shallow the water is.

His face showed he wasn’t convinced.

Looking back to that one fine Sunday afternoon before church. He was only a little over two years old. We were having coffee right next to a fish pond. He in his typical happy go lucky toddler behavior happily walked around and looking.

“Be careful, Pumpkin!” I warned him while keeping my eyes closely to his little self.

And then it happened!

In a blink of an eye…

Before I knew it, I had jumped into the pond, the legs of my pants soaked with a toddler heaving in my arms, crying as hard as his lungs allowed him to.

“It’s okay, baby…you’re okay…” I tried so hard to soothe the horror and panic out of his little face and soaked curls.

He was laid flat on the bottom of the pond, water covered him…the shallow water that was only a little over my ankle.

It scared him for life or so I thought…

Ever since that day he refused to swim. My boy who could stay in a tub for hours if I let him is traumatized and I don’t blame him.

Until that cloudy Friday morning…

“I promised you nothing will happen…it will be fun.” I pleaded one last time. May have also included some bribery somewhere between the lines.

The words of his pediatrician echoing in the back of my mind. Swimming will do him good. He have sensitive respiratory systems from being born a preemie and he’s prone to allergy. That is why a mild cough and cold have always lasted weeks for him.

“OK!”

One simple word that made my all beings jumped and rejoiced.

I slather his skinny long body with sunscreen, helped him with his swimming trunk.

He ran towards the slide by the kiddy pool.

Oh, be still my heart!

“Mbak, take a picture!” he told his nanny to grab Mommy’s phone.

I waited by the end of the slide. Eagerly and nervously waiting for my boy to face his fears.

“You can do it!” I cheered him on and before you know it, he splashed down. For a second or two I saw horror in his face that quickly dissolve washed away by his laughter.

“It’s fun Mommy! I want to go again.” He bravely climbed out of the pool and ran to the slide’s stairs again.

“Atta boy!”

We ended up having a blast by the kiddy pool. I had forgotten that I am not suppose to squat down or bent over. Heck, who cares?! It was a huge milestone in our little lives.

My boy faced his fears.

It was one of those moments where it feels like heaven opened up for us. It was monumental!

“Can we go swimming again tomorrow, Mommy?” He hugged me, his eyes widen full of sparkles.

“Of course we can, baby!” My smile couldn’t be any wider as we climbed in the car to head home.

Have your child overcome their fears? How did it go?

Filed Under: Single Mommyhood, Toddlerhood Tagged With: ,
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