Having a long distance relationship is definitely NOT for everyone.
“I don’t know how you do it!” get thrown at me a lot along the lines of “Wow that must be hard!”
My fiancé and I are still in a long distance relationship. Yes, some doubt us because I don’t post about us as often as before. Well, guess what darlings…we are still together.
Year 3 and counting.
Yes, it is not easy. If anything it doesn’t get any easier especially when you are so deep into it as much as we are.
After 3 years, I can safely say we have found what works and what’s not to maintain, nurture and grow our relationship. I’ve learned a few things along the way.
5 Long Distance Relationship Tips
1. Communications! Open communications
Just like any other healthy relationship, communications are the lifeline of a long distance relationship. My fiancé and I have developed our own schedule to communicate daily.
The schedules are not written in stone, they are flexible and they are not mandatory. For example, when I was still working crazy hours our communication times (Skype calls) are limited yet me maintain continuous chats through this app called Couple. When he was traveling for competitions in areas where Wi-Fi are not that reliable, we opted for the old school texting.
Communications on a deeper level are also very important. This one goes beyond “I miss you!” or “I love you.” We make sure we have a heart to heart deep conversations as often as we can.
We have reached a place where we trust each other that jealousy never has a chance to become an issue. Even on those crazy days where we couldn’t see each other online or chat, we have enough trust to get us through. A healthy relationship requires this anyway.
3. Always Have Something to Look Forward To
Be it a weekend getaway or a week together, having something to look forward to makes the wait totally worth it. When meeting in persons is not possible due to circumstances then create a special day where you can Facetime or Skype as much as you can in that whole day.
My fiancé and I do this a lot during the weekend. We would both stay home and just enjoy each other companies, albeit through the screen. We would watch a movie together (yes, totally possible through Skype share screen option!) or just have long talks about everything under the sun.
4. Set a Target Date or Year to End The Long Distance Relationship
This is what keeps us going, the plan to be together for good. Not just for a week or two but for the rest of our lives. It is really important to have this and build a solid plan to make it a reality.
It will be easy to feel burnt out after awhile especially if there are no agreed plans on where to be together for good.
For us the year will be 2017! Exciting! We are planning and preparing for that day. We have aligned our visions of the kind of life we want to have together and at the moment we are both working hard to make them a reality.
5. Enjoy the ride!
Granted it is not easy, there are days where you just miss your significant other so damn much. Enjoy the journey, make sure you both keep the joy within the relationship or it will slowly die. Laugh often together, be silly together and realize you both agree to be on this journey together so you might as well enjoy it. Ups and downs…sail on through together even when from different parts of the world.
As for us, we are grateful for this experience as it taught us many valuable lessons about one another, about being in a healthy relationship and about working together as a team.
How do you feel about long distance relationship? We would love to hear your stories!